First Impression Week 3 – Parenting Styles

Although there are many different types of parenting styles, only focusing on tiger, helicopter, and the jellyfish styles of parenting, I believe that the best way to parent a child is the jellyfish style. This style of parenting involves a parent who is not very strict with their children and does not over involve themselves in their children’s lives. When talking about helicopter or tiger parenting they are very involved and strict in their child’s lives. When a child has a parent that is over strict about school, or their social life, or every other aspect children tend to become more sneaky, or during their teenage years tend to rebel. Many people may disagree and say that these types of parents do not care about their child when they let their child make their own choices, however, I would disagree that the parents may care, but when they were growing up may have had parents that were over involved in their lives, which caused them to make mistakes and have to become sneaky to avoid being caught and getting in trouble by their parents. Although the jellyfish theory lets the children make their own choices, they are more likely to learn right from wrong, especially on their own because their parents are letting them have that freedom from a young age instead of being overprotective, and when the child goes away to say college, will make more mistakes than the child who was raised by permissive parents.
For example, when I was growing up during my elementary and middle school years I was always able to do what I wanted, I rode my bike across town when I was little, while some other kids weren’t allowed to. I was friends with the kids who had very overprotective parents and were never able to do anything. In middle school they would sit in their houses doing schoolwork for hours and hours on end, when I would be out playing. This went on all throughout high school, but after middle school I became friends with the kids who had parents more like mine. The parents who let their kids do what they wanted (within reason) and were always able to play. Now, granted I did make some mistakes growing up, but I quickly learned and was able to fix my mistakes. Being in college now, I see those same kids who were never able to go out, or have a drink, or do anything besides school work are the ones getting blackout drunk every weekend, and ending up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning because they are no longer under the care of their parents. In college for me now, I don’t drink, and I solely focus on my school work, and having friends that are good for me. Now, I would consider this more because of the ways that we were raised rather than the school we go to, or where we are surrounded.
Now, just because I say that, does not just mean my example. I have an older sister, who is 39. When she was younger, my mom was definitely a helicopter parent, and was super over protective of my sister, because my mom was so young when she had her. Now my sister is taking a different approach with her kids than my mom did with me, and is even more strict. My nieces never go outside, and only talk to each other. One day I am waiting for them to rebel (as bad as that sounds) and wait for them to be the children that never talk to their parents again, because they realize that their mother was keeping them under a rock their whole childhood. This caused my sister to become sneaky, and rebel, and get expelled from college after her first semester. My mom, however, was not overly strict, as some other parents can be.
I just think there needs to be a balance between being too protective of your child and not being protective enough, however, being over protective and trying to protect your child from the outside world is not always the best choice, because one day they will realize what is out their.

First Impression Week 3: Parenting

Adequate parenting is a topic that remains on the minds of thousands on a daily basis? Am I doing this right? What if I’m scarring my children? While there are countless opinions as to which of these styles is the most beneficial to child development, I personally do not think there is one magic answer to create the perfect storm that will result in the perfect adult. However, this does not mean that there are parenting styles that do not work and rather sabotage children from what they will experience as adults in the ‘real world’. It seems that today, many parents want to have a hand in every aspect of their child’s life and want to prevent him or her from having any hardship. While I see the thought process of wanting to protect your child from harm, there also comes a point where children need to learn lessons for themselves. I remember a while back there was an article in the newspaper where a parent went and harassed the teachers in the local middle school until they agreed to give their child an A in the class. This over-involvement more than likely damaged the child’s ability to perform everyday tasks independently. Not to mention the skewed morals that are being reinforced. It is also important to remember that a single child does not fit in a predetermined mold, no matter how hard one might try. The child as a unique being needs to be taken into account when discerning a parenting style. Not all children are outgoing and personable, and not on the other hand, not all children are quiet either. There is no single parenting style that will completely be applicable to every situation.

I believe that one has to work to get anywhere in life, even children. While there are instances where a child requires assistance and an extra hand, as they are still learning and developing, I do not believe that everything should be done for him or her. Mistakes and imperfect situations open the door to learning. A child that has everything done for him or her will have a rude awakening when they reach adulthood and find that no one is going to be willing to do everything for them. I have found, especially in my own upbringing and the upbringing of my younger brothers, that allowing a child to develop self-sufficiency and feel their way through uncomfortable situations are key to becoming a contributing member of society. From personal experience, I can attest that without my parents forcing me to figure things out on my own and discern a path through novel situations, I would not be the person I am today. Failures should be learned from, victories should be acknowledged and everything in between should serve as a growing experience. Adulthood isn’t going to cater to every individual, so child rearing should be individualized to the child, but in such a way that they can adapt to their surroundings wherever they may end up.

First Impression Week 3

Children across the globe are raised very differently based on factors like their culture, technology, and parenting styles. Some parents are criticized for being too controlling while others are criticized for being too laid back. Parents have the ability to either have a positive or negative impact on their children’s emotions, health, and overall success in life.

I think the best way to parent is to follow the “authoritative” parenting style. They set high, but reachable, goals for their children and also enforce realistic standards that their children need to follow. Their children will grow up having goals for themselves, whether that be for academics, athletics, art, music, or any other interests the child has. They will learn to start setting goals for themselves based off of their own interests and will then be happy living their life because they are doing activities that gives them joy.  By having realistic standards for your child, they learn to follow rules and contribute to things around the house like chores, taking care of siblings or pets, or cleaning their bedroom. From there they will learn to being to contribute to things outside of the house at school, sports or band practice, and even when they start working later in life.

A parent should also encourage open communication with their child. Talking to your child and asking them about their day, how school is, or just checking in with them teaches them to communicate with their parents and that they can trust each other. Mutual trust between a parent and child is extremely important because it creates respect for both sides of the relationship and it makes the child feel wanted and noticed by their parents. Children will then be more comfortable opening up to their parents and asking them for advice and guidance later on in life.

Independence is also important for a child to grow up to be happy and healthy. When a child is growing up, parents should not guard their every move, they should let children start to do things on their own. This teaches the child to take initiative in their own life and how to take care of themselves. The parent should not completely back out of the child’s life, but gradually let the child to do things by themselves and praise them for doing it.

I grew up with authoritative parents. They set rules that my brothers and I had to follow. We had to take care of pets, keep our rooms clean, and as we started growing up more we had more responsibilities around the house. This contributed to us being successful outside of the house too, by following the rules during school and being respectful to adults and teachers. My parents also encouraged us to try new sports and instruments when we were growing up to find what we liked to do so that we would be happy with what we were doing in our daily lives. My parents gave us independence as we grew up, letting us do our own things around the house, the sports we wanted to do, and even in our social life. We would pick our own clothes, do our homework without help, make our own breakfast, and hang out with friends on the weekends.

Open communication has been very helpful with me being in college. Staying in contact with my parents has been very important to me. Growing up and seeing them everyday at home and being able to talk to them whenever is a dramatic change to now when I can only call or text them since they are 2 hours away, not in another room of my house. Calling or texting them a couple times a week to talk about how things are going is very helpful for me. Being able to openly talk to them about school, my friends, and lacrosse calms me down and relieves some of my stress.

Overall, parents should not be dictators of their child’s life. However, they should also not be permissive and make very few rules or not be involved in the child’s life at all. Finding the middle of those two extremes is the ideal parenting style for a child to grow up and be happy, healthy, and contribute to society.

Development

Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents. These terms all refer to various parenting styles and each has been both promoted as an ideal and criticized as “the problem with kids these days.” We will discuss parenting this week, but I’m curious what you think is the “best” way to parent. By “best” I mean most likely to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society. Write your post about the ideal way parents should raise their kids.

Throughout the years parenting styles have varied. In my opinion, today there is a multitude of parenting styles which have proven to be effective, but some also have  down falls. I imagine as a parent it is difficult to decide which method of parenting to us with their child. Personally, I think every child has different needs and one type of parenting style may be successful on one child but not on the other. For example, if a child is timid and quiet they would not respond to the discipline of yelling and discipline enforcement well. Instead their parent could try to talk to them and explain what they did that was wrong and then enforce their punishment.

As a parent you want the best for your children and I believe that an authoritative method of parenting will help parents achieve this goal. An authoritative parent values a positive relationship with their children. They believe in setting rules and enforcing them, but always take their children’s thoughts and feelings into consideration. Another reason I believe authoritative parents are the most successful is because they explain the reasoning behind rules that are set. This allows the child to learn from their mistakes and ultimately results in the formation of their morals. Authoritative parenting maintains the perfect balance between friend and parent, which allows the child to live happy and healthy leading them to live a successful life in the future.

Growing up my parents combined various parenting methods, with authoritative being the main style. As a child I was a rule follower and hardly caused trouble, but when I did get in trouble a punishment would follow along with an explanation as to why I received the punishment I received. In school I always worked hard and wanted so badly to receive good grades. My brother however lacked the motivation I had. My parents would use positive reinforcement with him, to entice him to get better grades. They would offer him ice cream or something he liked if he got a good grade on his test. Since they used positive reinforcement with him they would do they same for me, so I didn’t feel excluded and I believe they also used me to set an example for him. Now that I am older I appreciate my childhood, everyday was fun and I have a great relationship with both of my parents.

First Impression Post #2 (Week 3):

Can there be any one specific or best way to parent? There are many different parenting styles in the world today. Some people are considered tiger moms, jellyfish dads, or helicopter parents. Each parenting style is unique with strengths and weaknesses.

I consider my parents to be helicopter parents. My parents want to know all aspects of my life as I grow into an adult. They want to support, protect, and strengthen my abilities to make me the best person they know I can become. As I grow older, I see the reason my parents want to know all about my life. They direct me in the right and successful path.

I believe the best way to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society is to combine multiple parenting techniques. Parents need to imply positive reinforcement; however, strict parenting techniques are important as well. When a child is misbehaving, it is important for the parents to correct this behavior by punishment or having the child face consequences. This allows the child to grow from their mistakes and become a better member of society.

I believe parents do not need to be best friends with their children. This creates problems because parents do not want their children to hate them, or the children take advantage of their parents. I see this with my friends’ parents all the time. They do not want to disappoint their children, so they give them everything and anything they want. This is a problem in life because not everything will be handed to you. You have to work hard and prove yourself in this society to become successful.

Lastly, I believe parents need to push their children in different activities. This allows the child to become a well-rounded adult in the future. Parents should encourage their children to play sports, join clubs or societies, make friends, and challenge themselves. When children engage in these activities, they are learning key life lessons they will need in the future. The obstacles children face in these activities will strengthen their values and make them learn from their mistakes.

There are multiple parenting techniques, but I think the few I stated here are most important for a child to become a happy, healthy, and productive member of society.

First Impression Post #2

Option 1:

I strongly believe that the “best way” to raise a child all depends on you, and your significant others personal preference. I feel that everyone has their own thoughts, beliefs and ideals on how they should raise their own children. In my opinion, I feel that the most efficient way is to be laid back but also have reprimands when necessary. From observations, I have noticed that most kids who have the overprotective; “helicopter parents” have been known to act out more, especially once they can not be supervised by the parents 24/7. A great example is when those types of kids go onto college, and the parents can not control what they do, 99% of those kids are known to go wild and completely reckless. So, I feel that as long as their is some rules and regulations, but not over the top, the child will be honest, and well behaved and then end up as a happy, healthy and productive member of society.

I feel as if I took in observations of how my own parents raised me and found myself commonly saying to my friends things like ,”My parents would never let me do that” or ” My parents would kill me if I ever said or did this”. So, I feel that most people take what they have experienced into consideration when they are raising their own children.

First Impressions – Development

“Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents. These terms all refer to various parenting styles and each has been both promoted as an ideal and criticized as “the problem with kids these days.” We will discuss parenting this week, but I’m curious what you think is the “best” way to parent. By “best” I mean most likely to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society. Write your post about the ideal way parents should raise their kids.”

All three parenting styles were very apparent in my upbringing.  My mother was a watered-down “tiger mom”.  She pushed my brothers and I in academics, often threatening to take away luxuries if we did not maintain good grades.  She ruled our house with an iron fist, making sure in elementary school that we sat down at the table immediately upon returning home from school to do our homework.  She relaxed that as we got older and could make our own decisions.  The helped all three of us have a strong work ethic that we all have carried out through college, and for my brothers, into their careers.

Often times there was a “good cop, bad cop” act going on in my house.  The roles were not equally shared, but either one of my parents could be in either role at any time.  When my dad was in the “good cop” role, he would often be a jellyfish parent.  Any time I went to the grocery store with him, I could ask for almost anything and he would buy it for me.  I was able to get away with a lot when I was little because my dad did not want to be seen as strict by his children, when in reality both of my parents were strict enough.

As far as helicopter parents, my parents were in that stage until my senior year of high school.  I went through a personal matter that left me vulnerable and almost unable to make my own decisions.  My parents stayed by my side every day to make sure I was okay and to make sure I would heal properly.  When I did go out, they would ask who I was going with or who would be at the event simply to make sure that I would not be hurt by anyone.  They have since backed off and let me have my own freedom.

I believe the ideal way to raise a child is having a healthy mix of these parenting styles.  Being a “tiger mom” is healthy when wanting your children to succeed in school, but not so much so that your child is stressed so much about school.  A “jellyfish parent” may be good when you are allowing your child to switch between different activities when they are little.  Allowing them to try different things allows them to make their own decision instead of being forced into the sport or activity they do not actually enjoy.

In my opinion, helicopter parents are the most helpful.  As long they are not too protective of their child.  Knowing the basics of where they are going, who they will be with, and an estimate of when they will be home is enough to be helicopter parent to make sure they are okay, but it lets the child have their own freedom.  It helps the child believe that you trust them, but you care enough about them to know where they are.  The child has their own freedom and the trust of their parents, but they know that they can go back to a parent who will ask questions about what happened without prying information out.

First Impressions #2

With the latest baby devices, technology advances, and evolving society standards, parenting has become a widely discussed topic as many parents attempt to find the “perfect” parenting method. Although it would be wonderful to have a direct guide to raising children, I know that there is and will not be one perfect method. Every family has their own set of values, beliefs, morals, culture, personal upbringing, and all of these factors can influence how one will parent their own children.

There are many parenting methods in the world including the “Tiger Moms” (rules and obedience driven), “Jellyfish Dads” (minimal demand or punishment), and “Helicopter Parents” (excessive hovering), but I currently see my future parenting to be a balance between these extremes. Children need guidance and structure in the world, but they also need the independence to become their own person and learn for themselves. I have seen “Helicopter Parents” and their continuous watch and control over every detail of their children’s life has caused increased anxiety, naivety, or rebellion. There needs to be some surveillance to make sure children on the right track of success and help correct misbehavior but children will eventually have to live on their own and learn how to do things themselves. I want to teach my children that they CAN do things. I agree with the idea of rules and obedience, but to provide structure that is not too constrictive. There are behaviors one should not participate in, such as rudeness, bullying, or lying, and some behaviors one can, like going to friend’s houses, or helping with chores. What I learned from obedience training for my family’s new dog is you have to both punish bad behavior and reward the good behavior. Always punishing, does not show a child what they can do. I want to be firm, but flexible and open for discussion.

From the academic viewpoint, my children should challenge themselves to their maximum potential, but I do not want them consistently struggling. As much as I want them to do exceptionally well, I will not get upset if they receive lower grades occasionally.

I know technology is useful and beneficial, but I do not want my children to become addicted to screens especially from an early age. I do not see the benefit of placing screens in front of young children for extended periods of time. Playing outside, using imagination, or engaging with other children is more beneficial. As technology slowly becomes “needed” in life as my children age, restrictions will be set to teach responsibility.

I hope to have a close, but open relationship with my children so I can be a person that they can come time if they need help or to talk. I know I will make mistakes, but in the end, I want my children to be happy, healthy, and do good in the world.

 

First Impression Post Week 3

Considering all of the different types of parenting, they all have their pros and cons. While tiger parents, may strive to have their children be very successful academically, their kids may not be allowed to go out and have fun like some of the other kids can do. For jellyfish parents, it is the opposite. Jellyfish parents will let their kids have more freedom and fun, which can lead to lower grades.

My thoughts on parenting are that parents should be more laid back and allow the child to do what they want without being pressured. The parent still needs to be authoritative when necessary. With the parent allowing the child to do what they want, there could potentially be a better bond between the two. When parents are more strict to their children, it can cause feuds and the child may be not as close with their parent as a parent who is less strict.

When the child becomes a teenager, it is natural for them to try and act out in different ways. They may start partying and staying out late. The parent in this case should have a talk with them, but should not completely make them stay in. If the child wants to do something, the parent should let them do it. Being more authoritative in this case is just going to lead to the child doing things behind their back without them knowing, which could actually be worse.

I feel it is important to be in your child’s life as much as possible. Being a loving and supporting parent is what makes a good parent. When a child messes up and has to tell their parent, they shouldn’t be scared to death to tell them. There definitely should be punishment, but it should be somewhat relaxed, depending on what the child did. It is okay to be a helicopter parent, as long as you give the child some space every so often.

First Impression Post #2

In all honesty, I do not think that there really is a “best” way to raise kids. Each kid is different in their own way and that is okay; parents should be embracing and supporting their kids’ differences. What is not okay is creating a general parenting method that is meant to work on everyone. It can be seen in our own childhoods that what may work on other children may not work on us. Children are unique in that they are receptive to different ways of parenting and their parents should adjust accordingly.

I think that an effective way of finding a good parenting technique is to know your children. Really know them. Take the time to find out what they like and dislike. I think that some people know their friends better than they know their own kids. The way parents raise kids lies on a spectrum. On one end, there are helicopter parents and tiger moms who micromanage every single thing that a child does and almost grooms a child into their own image. On the other end are jellyfish dads who allow their children to do whatever they want. Then there is everything in between where most parents are usually, finding what works and what does not as their kids grow. If parents can maintain a good relationship with their children, then as their children grow, the parents should be moving along the spectrum in response to their children’s receptiveness to a certain style of parenting.

As someone’s child and not a parent, I can only speak on my own perspective and what I would have wanted growing up. I cannot be naive and believe that a parent can put all of their focus on their children as they grow up. There are confounding variables that are impossible to predict throughout life, yet certainly have an affect. Before becoming parents, they usually have no prior knowledge on how to raise a child. The moment they become a parent is the moment they start learning. Having their child become successful and live a good life is a common goal for most parents and while most parents have different styles of parenting, they all want that for their children. When their children do become successful, every parent may have that hindsight bias and say that their parenting style was what helped them become successful when in fact, they probably had no idea what they were doing.