First Impression Post 2

--Original published at JD's Blog

A happy and healthy child produces a happy and healthy adult. One of the most important factors in children’s life are their parents. You have your tiger moms, the mothers who seem to take total control over their child pushing them to their outermost limits and taking nothing below straight A’s as acceptable. They control their child’s life. Some force their child to play sports and music even if they don’t want to. If their little star has any free time it is almost always spent studding. Then there is the polar opposite. The Jellyfish Dad. This guy is very laid back and seems to let their kid get away with anything anywhere and anyhow. They become a friend of their children rather than a parent in some cases. The third option is the helicopter parent. They must know everything their child is doing at all times. It may even seem like they have trackers set up for their trackers. Out of these three options I do not think any of them could truly produce a child that is totally happy, healthy and will become a productive member of society. I think it takes a healthy combination of the tree to produce the best scenario. However, if I had to choose I would go with a tiger mom. Tiger moms train their kids to accept nothing but the best and do their best on everything. They are always on their children to be a better version of themselves and teach them many life lessons. Although the child might not be happy all of the time, they will definitely learn how to be a productive member of society.

I feel that parents should teach their kids to accept nothing but the best of themselves and to always push harder every time they do something. It is good to learn at an early stage that the real world doesn’t always accept mediocre work and excuses like some parents do. However, the child should also be allowed some quality free time and the ability to do things they actually enjoy. This will help them stay happy and healthy. When it comes to surveillance I get it. One of a parent’s greatest treasures is their child, hopefully. Parents have a right to know where their kids are and what they are doing. That being said, they should teach their kid about trust and loyalty gaining some for themselves in the process. Trust is a key factor in any relationship especially with kids. Overall a parent who has the ability to turn into any of these stereotypes, but knows when to use each one, is the ideal way a parent should raise their child.

First Impression Week 3

--Original published at Sidney's college blogs

For this week’s first impression post, I am choosing to write about the ideal way to raise a child. My parents used a mix of different parenting skills. Some worked, and some have also failed. So, based off my experience of being a young adult, and the way my parents raised me, I’ll explain the ideal way to raise children. I mean, I think I turned out alright!

I’ll start with the way my mother treated me when growing up. My mother has always been very loving and nurturing. Instead of direct punishment, she would say things in response to our actions. These phrases would often contain something along the lines of, “I’m very disappointed in you” or, “I thought I could expect more from you.” Nothing was worse than disappointing my mother. When a mistake was made, it made you reflect on it and make you feel badly about it until you apologized for doing whatever it was. This form of parenting worked very well for my siblings and me.

My father had a different type of parenting style. My dad was more of the punishment type of parent. When one of us siblings did something bad, punishment was given. There was always an understanding of why there was punishment given. Without punishment given, I feel that we would have been rebellious and disrespectful children. Punishment allows for correction to be made within reason. Without it, the child will be used to getting their own way and getting away with different acts.

Both of my parents were encouragers. They have pushed each of us siblings to become the greatest that we can be. They have helped us get where we need to be, and they still encourage us to do better. Although they encourage us, they’re not overly hard on us, and I think that is important in parenting. You don’t want to push your kids into something so much that they end up hating that certain thing, but you also don’t want to let them leave off their dreams.

I feel that parenting should take on a mix of aspects. You should be there for your children when they need you. They need a role model and someone to talk to. My mom has always been my best friend, but she also takes the role of a parent. She doesn’t want to only be my best friend, she knows the line that needs to be drawn with that. I agree completely with this aspect of parenting as well. Parenting should have punishment involved as well. Without it is the reason people say that there is a “problem with kids these days.” Responsibilities should also be given with parenting. Children shouldn’t grow up without having chores to do. It teaches them responsibility and it teaches them valuable things that they’re going to need later in life. For example, I know plenty of people who didn’t even know how to wash their clothes when they got to college. It blew my mind! These are some of the many things that I feel should be incorporated into parenting your children.

First Impression Post #2

--Original published at Jessie's PSY105 Blog

After reading the prompt for this week, the first thing that I did was to look into what a ‘jellyfish dad’ is. While I have heard of the terms ‘tiger mom’ and ‘helicopter parent’, I have never heard of ‘jellyfish dad’. After researching it, I found out that a ‘jellyfish dad’ is a dad that gives their child a lot of freedom. This contrasts both ‘tiger mom’ and ‘helicopter parent’ which involves micromanaging every aspect of your child’s life and attempting to ensure that they turn out exactly the way that you, as their parent, hope they will. In thinking about the way that I think children should be parented, I would assume that my opinions line up with most others. I would want to find a happy medium between the parenting techniques outlined above. While I feel that it is important to provide children with a structured environment, I do not feel that it is beneficial to smother them. Taking too much control over your child can hinder them in becoming responsible for themselves and even in developing creativity (due to the fact that every decision in their life is made by their parents). However, letting a child have too much leeway can also be extremely detrimental. Until they are old enough to make certain decisions for themselves, they need to be taught and shown how to be responsible and safe. Overall, I think that as a child gets older, they should be given more and more opportunities to prove what they have learned from their parents and to demonstrate the responsibility that has been shown to them. I feel that this would help their self confidence and encourage them to listen, and be responsible, as they get older.

What Does It Take?

--Original published at The Core Techs

What does it take to become the best parent you can be? What does it take to raise a child or multiple children who grow up to live happy, healthy lives?

They say that in order to be a parent, you must first be a child. What does this mean? The answer is actually pretty simple – just put yourself in your child’s shoes! I am no parent, so I really don’t have much room to talk, but coming from a young adult’s perspective may provide an advantage.

I grew up as an adopted child. The nature vs. nurture debate seems to be a rather popular study among my life. Growing up, there are many things I appreciated that my adoptive parents did. One of the most important things they did for me was treat me like I belonged. I was adopted – I was not the same blood as my family. Sometimes, this can be devastating to find out for some children. Although this may be true, my parents always told me growing up about how special I was, and that it didn’t matter where I was from because I belonged here. Another important thing to consider is to not try to hide the fact that your child is adopted. My parents told me that I was adopted right from the beginning, and they probably started telling me before I even understood what it meant. Holding the truth back for a longer amount of time is going to hurt worse in the long run. It’s like pulling back the arrow farther and farther, and the more you pull it back, the more powerful and harmful the release is. As a parent, you must always be careful what you say; monkey-see, monkey-do. Children really are monkeys, and that is no doubt. If you curse frequently, your child will pick up on this. Kids are very quick and eager learners. Sometimes, they learn things a little too young and a little too fast. Often times, they do not realize the weight of the things they say or what they even mean for that matter. Setting a good example is one of the most important parts of being a parent. Being healthy is a crucial example to set. Teach your kids to eat and exercise properly. Teach them to be responsible, say please and thank you, and sleep well (bathing and brushing teeth is important too, unless, of course, you like the smell of a stinky breath and bad B.O.). All of the regular, everyday activities are essential to learn, but one of the most everyday activities is often far over-looked; to love.

Love is one of the biggest components. In order for children to grow up to reproduce, we must teach them not to be afraid of love. One of the first things a baby picks up on is the idea of a “mommy” and “daddy.” Automatically, children associate these two terms together. Right from the start, it seems obvious that mommy and daddy are in a little thing called love. As they grow up, they will watch everything you do, including how you treat your significant other. There is a great story about the love of a mother and her beliefs on teaching her child about what love should be;

A young couple gets married, being passionate, fiery, and adventurous. Their love was a bond that was impossible to separate. Every morning, the husband would carry his wife out of the bedroom in his arms. She giggled wildly as he dropped her off in the kitchen. Eventually, this couple had a baby. As the baby grew up, times got tougher. The couple would often find themselves arguing and picking little fights. The child was growing up fast, and soon he would notice that mom and dad were not as in love as they once were. The mother says to her husband, “Do you remember when you used to carry me out of the room in your arms each morning?” He replies, “Yeah, when we were actually in love.” The mother replies, “I need you to start doing that again. For our little boy. He needs to know what true love looks like.” It took some convincing, but eventually the father agreed. The boy laughed with joy every morning the father carried the mother out from the bedroom to the kitchen. One night, the husband told the wife that he would like a divorce, and although she did not want one, she agreed… Under one condition; “Up until the moment of our divorce, you must continue to carry me out of the bedroom smiling for our little boy,” she said. The man was hesitant, but caved in. As the days went by, the husband continued to pick up the wife and haul her to the kitchen. Memories flooded his brain, and a part deep inside of him grew sad that this had to end. As he picked her up, he began to notice her features more; She looked tired… Much more tired than her usual energetic self. He also noticed that she was loosing weight, almost to the point where he could feel her rib cage. How much had he missed? What had happened? The days passed, and the more he could feel himself falling in love again, watching as their little boy giggled hysterically. Why would he ever even think about giving this up? He marched upstairs to tell his wife that he would no longer like a divorce, but when he got upstairs, he walked in only to find her pale body lying lifelessly in bed with a note beside her. In the letter, she explained that she was diagnosed with cancer a while ago. They told her she only had a few more weeks to live, and she did not want anyone to grieve for her while she was still alive. She only wished for their little boy to know what true love was…

This story makes a very good point in saying “Don’t take life for granted,” but it also shows the true love of a mother with a young, growing child. So, although all the essential things, such as setting examples for your child on how they should eat, exercise, work, say please and thank you, and more, showing them how to love is what I believe is the most important. Hopefully, their future is filled with success, and he or she will grow up to have a beautiful spouse with beautiful children who also know what love is. May the tradition continue through the generations. Maybe someday the world will know peace.

What do you think is the correct way to approach parenting, Core Techs?

-B

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First Impression Post #2

--Original published at Emily's Blog

I chose the first option for this week which was about different parenting styles. To provide some background, I grew up in a household with two loving parents and three older brothers. Growing up in my household, I was not raised by a tiger mom who only enforced strict rules, tough love, and discipline. On the contrary, my mother was tough but was sensitive to me when necessary. I also was not raised by a jellyfish dad; my father was compassionate but took discipline seriously. Today, I do not believe my parents are or were helicopter parents but some of my early journal entries would disagree. They were very invested in me, but overall, I think they were able to raise me to gain independence.

The purpose of these descriptions of my parents is because I think my parents were very effective in parenting my siblings and me. My childhood is evidence of what I believe to be the best way to parent. My parents made my brothers and me get up every weekend at eight in the morning. We then had about thirty minutes to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go outside. My parents woke us up, so we could do yard work every weekend. Not only do I have a rather large yard to take care of, but my parents wanted to teach me and my siblings the value of hard work. I used to envy my friends who could sleep in and watch cartoons on Saturdays, but I know am thankful because I have the ability to work hard.

My parents also demanded respect from us. They made sure we were punished if we “talked back” to them. This was done so we would obey them and realize the world does not revolve around us. Although sometimes it was difficult to obey my parents because of my desire to rebel, they were always loving while being tough on me. I appreciate these parenting techniques which were used in my childhood. I was taught the value of hard work which will benefit me all my life. I was taught respect for authority which has humbled me and helped me in jobs I have had. I believe parents need to be loving but if they do not teach their kids hard work and respect at an early age, I think they will struggle as they get older.

 

1st Impression Post (Week 3)

--Original published at Site Title

For quite a long time, and surely for many more years to come, the different ways parents choose to raise their children has been, and will continue to be a major controversial subject. Many people argue that the best way to raise a child is by laying out all of the rules in a very strict manor, while others have determined a more laid back method to be the best approach, and some who prefer a combonation of both. There are some parents who spoil their children with every item they could possibly desire, some who make their children work for all of their own luxuries, and some parents who fall inbetween. These examples hardly even begin to scratch the surface of the topic, but it clearly serves to show that there are varrying ways to raise a child. So, which way is the “best” way?

Truthfully, I believe that when comparing these differnt parenting methods to one another, there is no “best” way to raise a child. Every child is different. This means that they respond to discipline and praise in different ways, excell under different circumstances, take criticisim differently, and so on.  However, there are certain ideas and values that all parents should desire to imbed into the hearts and minds of their children.

I believe that the ideal way to raise a child should not be based upon whether they grow up with strict rules versus leniant policies, many material items versus few, and so on. It should mainly be based upon a parent teaching their child that respect is imperative, and that they should do to others as they would wish for others to do upon them.

First Impression Post #2

--Original published at JanellesCollegeBlog

Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents are all extreme philosophies that parents can chose when deciding how to raise their children. These styles of parenting all have their pros and cons with how the child will be raised. With tiger moms, although the child may grow up to be very successful and goal-oriented, they may also have the tendency to rebel and feel like nothing in their life is theirs. Jellyfish dads are the opposite of tiger moms and often allow their children to do anything and everything that they want. These types of parents almost never say “no” to their children which often causes the child to grow up spoiled with no self-control. Helicopter parents are parents that pay attention to everything that the children do and try to manage the little details and schedules of their children’s day to day lives. This can cause children to want to hide information from their parents and be secretive.

My parents were a mix of these extremes. In some ways, my parents were tigers in that they always push me to strive my best, but they would never get disappointed in me if I ever did poorly in school or other activities. Also because I am the youngest of the three siblings and the only girl out of the three of us, I definitely have had my fair share of being spoiled like with jellyfish parents. Also, my parents could be considered helicopter parents as they often want to know what’s going on in my life and will help organize and plan things for me to do. There have been plenty of times since I got here at college that my mom has texted me asking how I’m doing or what my plans are, and after a while, this can get pretty annoying. Nonetheless though, I love my parents and think they have done an amazing job raising me. They always supported me in what I wanted to do and let me run free (as long as I was relatively safe). I also feel like I can be open to my parents about my life because they are extremely accepting and will always have my back. I believe that this communication level is important to have between parent and child.

For my own children, I would like to try to raise them the way my parents did but maybe a little less like a helicopter. I think that it is important to be open with your children and not hold any harmful secrets from them. I want my children to think of me as their friend who can help them with anything, but not as a best friend because this would cause them to lose respect for me. Also, it is essential to try to push children to attain their full potential, but also let them know that as long as they do their best it will all be okay. I would not reward bad behavior or over-spoil my children, but I would always try to give them my love and reward them for all of the good things that they do in life. Also, I think that it is important for children to have the freedom to explore, use their imaginations, and be themselves. I do not want my children to be afraid to be who they really are, and I want them to experience and discover the world in their own way. This means not being overly crazy and worried about every single harmful thing out there. It means letting them figure out what is not good and what is in life, and always being their for them if they ever need an ear that will listen or a shoulder to cry on. I want to be able to be there for my children all the time and help support and give them advice whenever I can. I think these are the most important qualities to have between a child and a parent: respect, honesty, openness, and encouragement. The best parent is a mix between all the extremes with a lot of love on top.

First Impression Post Week #3

--Original published at Nadia's Blog

In general I think that parenting is one of the most difficult tasks and is something that almost every parent would strive to do their best at. Parenting can be approached in many different ways and that is clearly acknowledged based on the different stereotypical parents like helicopter parents, tiger moms and jellyfish dads. Although each parent might approach raising their child differently, I think that ultimately they each believe that their child will grow up to be a well-rounded individual and will be successful in whatever they choose to do.

I think that the most effective way to allow your child to be happy, healthy and a productive member of society is by having an equal balance of respect, honesty and friendship. In order for a child to be happy, it is necessary for them to be in a positive environment and be able to have a good relationship with his/her parents. For parents it is important for them to be able to discuss all aspects of their child’s lives, so that there is a mutual understanding in all areas. This goes hand in hand with honesty, it is one of the most important things for a parent and their child to be honest with one another so they can each respect each other. If a child does not trust their parent, they will not be able to go to them when they need them, and ultimately it is a parent’s job to be there for their child. One of the most important aspects of raising a child in my mind is friendship. This could be easily overlooked and in many cultures this would not be something that a parent would have with their child. I think that if a child is afraid and intimidated by their parents that they would be more secretive and attempt to handle most situations on their own.  Some individuals may think that by being your child’s friend that the child would be more reckless and think they could get away with more leisure. This may be true in some cases, but if there is an equal balance of friendship as well as respect and honestly, I think that the child would be aware of their boundaries, responsibilities and make wise decisions. I think that if a parent is too harsh, strict or enforces punishment on small actions the child will most likely act out more in an act of rebellion or decide to be more secretive and hide things from their parents. In order for a child to be happy and benefit society it is important for them to be raised properly with the correct help from their parents and be able to pass on the support they were given to other individuals.

First Impression Post Week 3

--Original published at Melissa's Blog

The tiger mom parenting technique, which is common in Asian families, prioritizes hard work, education, rules, and discipline, over affection and play. These parents have very high expectations for their children and have very strict rules. Children are expected to have stellar grades, and have little leisure time for friends and electronics. This parenting strategy can be unhealthy for children because they are being controlled, have no independence or choice, and are scared of their parents. This often leads to rebellious behaviors, and/or low self-esteem. Although this technique does create a hard-working, and goal-oriented mindset that might help the children succeed in the future, they still will experience difficulties. They might struggle with expressing their emotion because their parents had tough love, rather than affection, and they might have poor social lives because their parents did not allow them to have play dates or sleep-overs. Children from tiger mom parents may be able to achieve great academics and impressive careers, but life is so much more than that.

Jellyfish dads are the total opposite of tiger moms. They are too lenient with their children and give them anything they want. These children call the shots and make their own rules. This parenting strategy lacks discipline, consequences, and structure, which does not prepare children for their futures. Since these parents are basically nonexistent, the children may feel neglected because no one cares about what they do. Also, they may even blame themselves for their parents absence. This can lead to negative self-esteem and no ambition.

The helicopter parenting technique is another extreme. These parents are over-protective of their children and don’t let them do anything because it is too “dangerous.” They are the parents who eavesdrop, spy, and search through their children’s belongings because they are so worried about them. However, too much hovering often leads to revolt and an untrustworthy relationship between the child and parent. Although these children are comfortable expressing their feelings because they have been so loved and nurtured, their parents are failing them because they do everything for their them, and are always there whenever they face an obstacle. Helicopter parents do not understand that children need to overcome some obstacles themselves so they have independence and maturity, which is crucial for succeeding in the real world. It is important to know that in the real world you cannot be dependent on parents.

The ideal way to parent is to have a balance between all three of these extreme strategies. Children should learn about how important it is to earn good grades, but should also spend as much time as possible being a kid because it goes by way to fast. Children should have toys, play dates, and should run around outside so they have creative minds. Today, too many children sit inside watching TV, playing video games, and going on smart devices. Parents who allow excessive amounts of electronics are being too lazy. Parents need to play and interact with their children to establish a healthy and trustworthy relationship. Children who interact with friends and parents, and explore their imagination are establishing  social skills for their futures.

Also, I think it is essential for children to be comfortable with their parents to establish trust. In a trusting relationship the parents will not hover and spy on their children because they respect them. An open and trustworthy relationship is necessary so children are not nervous to talk to their parents when they need help, have questions, or are seeking advice. Many children are too embarrassed or anxious to go to their parents when they need help because they do not have a strong enough relationship with them. Although I think a close relationship is essential, parents need to be parents. To explain, many parents try to be their children’s best friend, rather than their parent. In this instance the child disregards the rules and the parent lacks authority. Children need to be comfortable with their parents, but also need to know that the parent is in charge and there are rules that must be followed.

Lastly, it is a parent’s job to worry about their children, but they must let them explore and discover things on their own. Some parents do not let their children do things because they are too protective of them. For example, they do not let their kids get dirty, ride bike, play contact sports, and more because it could be too dangerous. Instead, parents should teach their children to be brave and face their fears, rather than hide from them. This allows children to express themselves and become independent. To conclude, a balance between the three parenting techniques will produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society.

First Impression Post Week 3

--Original published at Rachel's Blog

When you look at children in today’s society, you can be sure that kids are not being parented the same as older generations.  Parenting styles have changed due to the way people now view the world, and also due to the new technological advances in today’s society.  As this could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing as well.  It seems that parents today are not as strict as parents were in the past.  I believe my mother raised my sister and I well because we were taught to always use manners, and if we did something bad, we were corrected and punished.

Most parents today will give their very young child an ipad or phone so that they are satisfied, but parents should not do this.  They should not heavily rely on T.V. shows, movies, and electronics to make their child feel happy.  These things can occupy a child for a long period of time, and this is not a healthy situation for a child; they need to be outside in the fresh air at the park, playing with friends, or their parent taking them for a walk.  Instead of the electronics, kids should have lots of toys to play with while they are young, because it could aid in development.  When my sister and I were little we had tons of toys to play with.  We would play pretend with our kitchen set and our dolls, draw outside with chalk, play with our stuffed animals, and many other things.  My mom always made sure that we were not bored, and she also made sure that we were busy and not sitting around all day doing nothing.  Parents should do more of these interactive activities because it will cause their children to think creatively and it will make their imagination grow.

Parents should be able to parent their kid however they choose.  I think that kids should be taught manners at a young age so that they grow up to be respectful to one another.  Helicopter parents may be a bit extreme, but for all types of parents, I believe that it is important to know where your kid is going and who they are going with.  It is up to the child to make the decisions, but if they happen to make a bad one, the parent can quickly correct their child.  Being able to correct your child when they have done something wrong is a good part of parenting, but also being able to talk to your child and establish a good relationship is another important part of parenting.