--Original published at Manami PSY105blog
People may believe that divorce is harmful to children and influences on children’s future. Although the understanding of divorce is increasing, there is still the tendency that children without separation from parents are happier than children with experiences of parent’s divorce. There are two sides of arguments about the effects of divorce on children. One side of the arguments is supporting that divorce influence on children’s behavior, mental issues, and academic ability. On the other side, there are two arguments say that divorce is not bad for children because they will be able to deal with the situation children face.
According to the article titled “The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children”, Amy Morin explains there are emotional difficulties which children might struggle after their parents divorced. She says 48 percent of children in the USA and UK experienced parent’s divorce by age 16 and live with single-parent. Even though these children seem to get over the tough time, some of them continue to have difficulties in changes. For example, children may be confused when they must go between two hoses and worry about losing love from their parents someday. They also may blame on themselves about their parent’s divorce and feel anger to change situations and lifestyle such as a new hose and school. It is not easy to adjust to the new lifestyle. If children had a step-parents and step-siblings, they would receive a stress. In addition, children likely to have a mental issue and behavior problem caused by a parent’s divorce. Especially, adolescents with parent’s divorce may take a risk in terms of sexual activities, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. The author also suggests that people with parent’s divorce may tend to divorce when they had a family. There are several negative effects on children because of parent’s divorce.
Mitchell Kalpakgian also discusses negative effects on children regarding education in his article. First, parent’s conflict at home reduces academic achievement by interrupting their concentration on the study caused by their emotional insecurity and instability like anxiety and anger. They do not have an environment where is quiet and they can be relaxed to study in the house with conflicts. Second, children tend to not to join school activity including the study because sadness from divorce deprives energy, excitement, and enthusiasm from children. Third, he insists that children with parent’s divorce tend to lose motivation of attendance and school because they may not be able to get a clear sense of expectation from two parent’s same ideas values of education by adjusting two different families. They may have an attitude of nothing matters like “Who Cares?”. It is important to care children’s emotional changes caused by parent’s divorce to support their academic achievement.
The article titled “Is Divorce Bad for Children?”, by Hal Arkowitz and Scotto O. Lilienfeld, suggests that children recover rapidly after their parent’s divorce especially emotional negative effects. According to the examination at Pennsylvania State University in the article says that there are only small differences between children of divorced parents and children without the experience of parent’s divorce regarding “academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept, and social relationships.” (Hal, A and Scotto O. L, P3). Besides this, children’s anxiety or the stress of divorce can be reduced by love and stability from parents. The authors also claim that the rate of social, physical and emotional issues of children with divorced parents is only 15 percent higher than the one of children with both of parents. There is even a possibility this difference is caused by other issues such as poor parenting. In addition, it is important for children that parents give warm and love to their after they divorced and support their children emotionally and socially. Children’s personality and characteristic also influence to recover well.
Victoria Clayton supports the idea that divorce is not only bad for children and children will do well. Especially, even if parents divorced, they are still parents who love their children, and should work together as “co-parents.” It gives good consequences for both parents and children to decide separations because parents will be able to appreciate and respect each other by separating, and children still do well thanks to parent’s strong corporation.
I agree with the idea that children can get over parent’s divorce even though they are hurt emotionally. Because they will be able to receive love from both of parents in a little different way from the others. They can do well depends on how divorced parents corporate each other and how they raise their children. My parents have separated since I was in elemental school, and they divorced. I found out the differences from my friends with both parents. However, I have never felt jealousy to them because I am satisfied with their decision and love from them. I could do well because they did well. Even if it depends on children’s characteristic whether they will recover soon, parents could help them.
Morin A. (August 24,2018). The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170
Kalpakgian M. (February,20,2015). Divorce’s Effect on a Child’s Education. Retrieved from http://truthandcharityforum.org/divorces-effect-on-a-childs-education/
Arkowitz H, Lilienfeld S O. (March,1,2013)Is Divorce Bad for Children? Retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/
Clayton V. (12,11,2007). Divorce doesn’t have to destroy the kids. Retrieved from http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21474430/ns/health-childrens_health/t/divorce-doesnt-have-destroy-kids/#.W7q21S_jZ-U