Development – Option #1

--Original published at Emily's college blog

Parenting is said to be one of the hardest jobs in the world, but it is also a very important and rewarding one too. There are few approaches to parenting that I believe would create happy, healthy, and productive members of society. The “best” way to parent, in my opinion, would be to provide endless amounts of love. Now, I do not mean give everything to their child, or always allow them to get away with everything, but it is necessary to make them feel valued, and cherished. When I said that parents shouldn’t give every little thing to your child, I believe that is another quality of good parenting too. If a parent gives everything to their child, they will grow up not knowing what it is like to work for something they want. They will instead, go their whole life expecting something from everyone and everything, but in all reality, that is not how life works. Parents also shouldn’t be so overbearing or create a lot of stress for their child. They should be understanding, compassionate, and openminded to their children because after all, they are still learning how life works. The “best” parents should be available for hard times, life advise, just someone to talk with. Creating a safe space with their child may allow them to feel trusted and lead them to be less likely to go against their parents. Parents should be there for their child no matter the cost and let them know that are loved no matter what they do. There are a lot of different parenting styles, but I believe the “best” parenting just involves a lot of love, even “tough” love. If a child grows up feeling misunderstood, unloved, or stressed, they may turn to other things like alcohol, drugs, or unhealthy relationships to try and feel fulfilled. This is why parenting is a tough, but critical job.

Parenting Styles

--Original published at JanellesCollegeBlog

I believe there are many ways of parenting that can make a child successful in life, but there are also ways of parenting that can promote bad behaviors or rebellion. I believe parenting is different for each child because each one takes various punishments and rules differently.

In my opinion, the ideal way parents should raise their children is by letting them learn from their mistakes, while also not allowing them to make life altering mistakes that could ruin their future. This style of parenting is a mix of a tiger mom and jellyfish dad.

A disadvantage of being a tiger mom is pushing a child too far. Too much pressure can lead to increased anxiety or stress; which children of today’s society are exposed to enough. A disadvantage of being a jellyfish dad is that at a young age it is not possible to expect children to make decisions themselves. If some children were not forced to do their homework, they probably would not do it. It is essential to include some components of the tiger mom and jellyfish dad parenting styles, so your child can be successful.

Regarding the helicopter parent approach, I think the more a parent hovers over their child, the more they will have a desire to be rebellious. I have found that my friends who were most sheltered in high school (had a strict curfew, were held to extremely high expectations, and who could not make any decision without their parent’s approval) are the ones who have gone to college and have already made life altering decisions. With that said, being too laid back is not an ideal way to parent either. We have parents because we need them to help us, so it is important to be there for a child when needed.

Another way parents can help their children to be successful is by encouraging them to spend their time doing things that are beyond themselves. Growing up I was encouraged to volunteer my time to help others who were in need. I believe this made a tremendous impact on my life as now I do not take for granted anything that is given to me. Along with volunteer work, I also think if a child has the time they should be get a job when they turn sixteen. There are multiple benefits of this. It teaches them how to save their money, how to use their money wisely, and how to provide for themselves in certain ways. I believe all these things make a successful parenting style.

Chapter 4: Parenting Styles and Development

--Original published at Maddy Vingom's PSY105 Blog

Parenting styles can have major impacts on the different ways in which children become adults. Personally, I believe that each child has different needs, which will in turn affect the way that they are raised. For example, my parents have always been very lenient with my siblings and I, we never had strict rules because we were well behaved for the most part. In contrast, I have friends whose parents were more strict which worked well within their family dynamic.

I personally believe that the ideal parenting style would be the authoritative parenting, because they tend to what their child needs in addition to having high standards for their behavior. This style incorporates all of the positive aspects from helicopter parenting, tiger moms and jellyfish dads. Parents need to protect their child and ensure that they have some control over them from the point of view from helicopter parenting. Being too overbearing can result in the child defying and hiding things from their parents. The positive outlook on tiger moms is that they push their children to be the best that they can be. However too much pressure on the child can create high stress levels concerning their parent’s expectations, ultimately resulting in health complications. The last aspect of authoritative parenting is jelly fish dads, some leniency and freedom can be good for a child. Giving the child too much freedom at a young age can create issues with listening and executing tasks once they enter the work force or higher education. Once two people become parents they must consider what would be most beneficial for their child and find the perfect balance of discipline and freedom.

Development post; Chapter 4

--Original published at AlexisPattersonBlog

Parenting styles are all different. Some parents are convinced that their kids don’t need to be watched like a hawk because they would never “do something like that”. While some other parents refuse to let their kids turn out bad mannered, so they feel the need to watch their every move and make sure they are meeting their standards. In reality, every child is different and they react and behave in different ways. So technically, there is not one specific way to parent your kids.

I believe though, that there are certain do’s and don’ts to parenting your child to best prepare them to grow up in today’ s society. Parenting should be a combination of some different aspects of each parenting style. You should have some aspects of helicopter parents as you want to have some form of authority over your child. You don’t want them thinking that they can go around doing and acting however they want. However, you don’t want to hover too much, as your child will not appreciate that and feel like they have to sneak around behind your back.

Tiger moms are another piece to the puzzle. You want to push your kid to be the best that they can be. You want to teach them to be ambitious and want to have motivation to push forward and strive to succeed. But you also don’t want to be the parent that pushes their kid to do something because that is what THEY want them to do. Every child is different, so if they have a hard time with something, or need more time, this is when the parent needs to step back and take some of that pressure off.

Jelly fish parents should be the smallest piece of the puzzle. You want to be lenient because like stated earlier, you don’t want to be too strict and not let them feel like they have someone to go to. Being too lenient though, will also have the same concepts as before where they do anything they want and have a hard time when they grow up and someone tells them no.

Having a system that is like a puzzle, one big idea with small pieces will work when parenting your child. Everyone is different, so the parenting styles should be different as well.

Development

--Original published at Allison's Psych Blog

Different parenting styles allow for children to grow up in all different ways. In the case of the tiger mom, jellyfish dad, and helicopter parents, all are very different and will produce children with very different personalities. Tiger moms are way too harsh when it comes to succeeding for their children. They want nothing but the best, and will stop at nothing for their child to get it. This type of overbearing can put too much stress on a child, and ultimately leave the child to be so dependent, they won’t be able to do much for themselves in the future. A jellyfish dad does not care much about what the child does, and kind of lets things go as the child does things they shouldn’t. This may seem like the perfect life, but without some sort of authority, the parent will be completely taken advantage of, and the child can become reckless and irresponsible. Their grades could slip, and they may get into bad situations. With helicopter parents, having someone watch everything you do constantly puts a lot of stress on a child. Feeling like they need to hide every aspect of their lives and that they never have the privacy they deserve. This is means to raise very deviant and sneaky children. Personally, I don’t believe any of these parenting styles are beneficial to raising a child. I believe that there should be some authority, the children should always be pushed to be their best, and there should be a sort of discipline to make sure the child doesn’t get away with things they shouldn’t. But, I also believe that there should be some freedom in the child’s life. They should be able to go out and have fun, I shouldn’t have to go through their phone for no reason, and they should be allowed to engage in whatever activities they want to. A perfect medium between two extremes is the perfect way to raise a child.

Chapter 4 First Impression Prompts – Development

Regardless of which prompt you choose, please use the tag “Development” on your post. Here are the prompts for this week:

Option 1

Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents. These terms all refer to various parenting styles and each has been both promoted as an ideal and criticized as “the problem with kids these days.” We will discuss parenting this week, but I’m curious what you think is the “best” way to parent. By “best” I mean most likely to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society. Write your post about the ideal way parents should raise their kids.

Option 2

While most developmental psychologists have focused on how we grow and change from birth to early adulthood, Erik Erikson was one of the first psychologists to put forth a theory of development that covered the entire lifespan. He divided the lifespan into 8 stages and in each stage he posited the primary challenge a person had to overcome for each stage. I want you to create your own 8-stage lifespan development theory (make sure to identify the age range for each stage) and identify what you think the main psychological challenge is for each stage. We’ll see how similar your ideas are to Erikson’s.

I look forward to seeing what you write!

Header image: CC by Flickr user Caitlinator

Spotlight Post 1

--Original published at Taylor'sEtownCollegeBlog

Divorce is a challenging subject across the board for all of those involved. Many times, children are involved and experience great changes and challenges while going through the very adult process of divorce. Through the increase in the number of divorces, comes different opinions on the effect they have on the children involved. Through this post, both sides will be presented as to how divorce effects the children involved.
Claims are made stating divorce negatively impacts children’s well-being. Studies from the University of Pennsylvania and their department of psychology found, “On the basis of a large, representative sample of children in the United States, we found that those who experienced a marital dissolution were significantly worse off than those who did not, with respect to several measures of problem behavior, academic performance, and psychological distress” (Allison and Furstenburg 546). This source is reliable because of the university that is tied to the research. The University of Pennsylvania is very reliable with their work in which they produce. The side this article is arguing for is, divorce negatively impacts the children’s lives. It provides statistics showing the correlation between the age and gender of the child and the performance in class along with the teacher’s perspective and the parent’s perspective. It was found that the amount of depression found in boys whose parents went through a divorce were statistically significantly higher than those whose parents were not divorced (Kalter et al 611). This means it was found divorce increases the amount of depression in boys compared to those whose parents were not divorced. This information shows divorces negative impact on children’s well-being. This information was found by several doctors and was supported and published by the American Psychological Association. The idea of the American Psychological Association publishing this information makes it extremely trust worthy. Also, the information was found using a psychology database that sorts through the articles and guarantees they are valid and academic sources to use. This information proves that divorce negatively impacts a child’s well-being.
On the other hand, there is information stating, divorce does not cause a disruption in a child’s well-being. Information was found comparing the involvement of parents in a child’s life between children who came from a divorced family situation and a traditional family situation. It was found, children from the divorced family situation thought both of their parents were involved in their life, while several children who had married parents thought one parent was more involved in their life than another (Gantis et al 317). This information shows however a child might be coming from a divorced family, they might not have a lower amount of well-being. The information is reliable because all the authors had their PhD. and worked for a college together. It has been found children who go through divorce in the family experience hardships, however, many of these hardships were present before the divorce (Haggerty et all 66). It has also been found that these challenges improve over time after the divorce has occurred (Haggerty et al 66). This information shows how divorce ultimately can improve the lives of the children because while the parents were together there could have been extreme anger and stress caused to the children. This information is reliable because it is published by Cambridge University. Cambridge is a very reliable source and is world known for their trustworthiness.
In my opinion, divorce is often the correct answer. This is, however, depending on the circumstances as to why the divorce is coming about. If the parents are divorcing because of violence or complete anger. If the parents are constantly in conflict with one another, this ultimately causes strain on the child’s life. If divorce will reduce the amount of strain and conflict in the child’s life, divorce I believe is an effective option to reduce the negativity of the child’s life. These reasons are why I believe divorce is valid as a solution in certain conditions.
~Taylor

Works Cited
Allison, Paul D. and Frank F. Furstenberg. “”How Marital Dissolution Affects Children: Variations by Age and Sex.”.” Develpmental Psychology (1989): 540-549. EBSCOhost.

Deborah Gantis, et al. “”Do the Kids Think They’re Okay? Adolescents’ Views on the Impact of Marriage and Divorce.” .” Journal of DIvorce and Remarriage (2013): 313-328. EBSCOhost.
Neil Kalter, et al. “”Predictors of Children’s Post Divorce adjustment.”.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry (1989): 605-618. EBSCOhost.
Robert J. Haggarty, et al. “”Stress, Risk, and Resiliance in Children and Adolescents,”.” Cambridge University Press (n.d.). EBSCOhost.

Spotlight #1 Option 1

--Original published at Zachs College Blog

Over the past few decades, divorce rates have dramatically increased to in-between 40% and 50%. Divorce has shown that the children of their families are usually impacted the hardest. Although parents splitting up might be the best for the family, a debatable argument presents on the effects it has on children as a whole. Before a divorce, many parents contemplate the results it could possibly have on their family and most important children. In this debate, it will help you grasp an understanding on how harmful divorce can be on children and how some divorces will have no consequences on children.

As divorces rates have dramatically increased in the past decades, it has gradually became more and more of a normal thing. Divorce happens very frequently as the divorce rates are nearing a whopping 50% or half of marriages end up in splitting. The biggest result of divorce on children is change. “Research has found that kids struggle the most during the first year or two after the divorce.” It has been proven that kids will experience stress, anxiety, and anger following the divorce. It will take time for these changes In their kids to slowly diminish. Many children fear the fact of losing contact with one of their parents or even their relationship as a whole. Amy Morin states that “Decreased contact affects the parent-child bond and researchers have found many children feel less close to their fathers after divorce.” Even the relationship with the mother, usually the primary care giver after divorce is affected as the mother often shows less support and affection to their children after such a traumatizing event. Kids also gain stress with having to move schools, move houses, live in an empty house with a single parent and financial hardships will all contribute to the negativity the child will experience. Morin also states “In the United States, most adults remarry within four to five years after a divorce”. This provides many kids with ongoing changes to their family orientation. Introducing a step-parent and kids can be a big modification for the kid and can show negative effects on the child’s behaviors and attitudes. The failure rates of a second marriage are even higher than the rates for first time marriages so these children will have a larger chance of having to go through multiple separations. “studies have also found depression and anxiety rates are higher in children from divorced parents”. It has been shown that children have an increased risk for mental health issues regardless of what age the child may be. Other issues may include behavioral issues and decreases in academic performance.

According to Jane Anderson, “Each child and each family are obviously unique, with different strengths and weaknesses, different personalities and temperaments, and varying degrees of social, emotional, and economic resources, as well as differing family situations prior to divorce.” Divorce has shown to lower a Childs future success in education, emotions, behaviors, and most importantly family relationships. The child may lose economic support as now only one parent is bringing in income for the whole family. In most cases, kids will live with their mothers, and see their fathers on the weekends or whatever the parents agreement states. Loss of income will increase work time, which means children will be away from their parents more often which will diminish the parent-child relationship and leave the child with very little support. Anderson states that “Children living with single mothers are much more likely to live in poverty than children living with both married parents.” stated by Anderson. Children also witness a loss of emotional security involving both of their parents. Children state that they feel a weakened relationship with their mothers and they lack emotional support. As for the relationship with the father, it usually diminishes as well. With most kids living with their mothers, children will receive less time with their fathers. Divorced children believe their fathers are less caring and trustworthy after a divorce. Anderson provides a strong argument for each different effect a divorce has on children with supported research from other articles and studies provided.

Although divorce usually has a negative effect on the kid, sometimes in certain situations the results aren’t as harmful. Three common themes preside on explaining why divorce is easier for some kids than others. The first theme is that some kids simply are more sturdy when it comes to stress whether that is from past experiences or simply being born with the abilities to handle stress. These kids manage stress by doing things that will keep their mind off of everything going on, or maybe they even have a special someone to talk to and help get everything off of their minds. Secondly, all kids come from different backgrounds, all kids have witnesses and have seen things that could make them mentally tougher than others. You can not assume that all problems stem from divorce as it could be anything else that might be affecting these kids. The last and most important theme is how divorce and how everything plays out varies from family to family. How the divorce process goes will affect the kid the most. According to a Canadian resident, divorce in her family taught her to be more adaptable as the following months and years of her life following the divorce would be filled with good/bad changes. According to Dr. Lisa Ferrari, “A natural byproduct of going through divorce is that you are required to be more adaptive.” Divorce can also help a child realize their own strengths and ability to do things by themselves. When having a single parent, who is more than likely working a lot to help provide for you and the family, you have to begin to become more independent. Divorce will also help children gain a sense of appreciation towards other, and helps divorced children grasp a better understanding of what might be going with the children around them. Dr. Ferrari says “When their peers have family problems, it’s very relatable for them.” divorced children have a better chance of relating and helping other children out when the same type of situations happen for them.

The information in all of these articles are scholarly as it has been taken from thorough research studies and has been measured by studying the actions/behaviors of children who went through a divorce In their family. I believe a divorce can effect a kid very negatively in all aspects of life but it will all depend on what this kid has been through before the divorce and his/her capability to deal with stress and anxiety of their family differences.

Sources:

Cherlin, A., & Furstenberg, F. F., Jr. (1989, March 19). DIVORCE DOESN’T ALWAYS
HURT THE KIDS. Retrieved from The Washington Post website:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/1989/03/19/
divorce-doesnt-always-hurt-the-kids/6432e596-b8d3-45f1-a3f7-0a1029a59240/
?utm_term=.8bd6fa28e664

Anderson, J. (2014, November). The impact of family structure on the health of
children: Effects of divorce. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

Morin, A. (n.d.). The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved
August 24, 2018, from very well family website:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170

Middleton, J. (2015, November 1). 5 POSITIVE LESSONS CHILDREN LEARN FROM
DIVORCE. Retrieved from Canadian Living website:
https://www.canadianliving.com/life-and-relationships/relationships/article/
5-positive-lessons-children-learn-from-divorce

Spotlight #1: Divorce

--Original published at LivsCollegeBlog

Spotlight Post 1

--Original published at Marisa Psych Blog

The word “Divorce” used to be taboo many, any years ago. Now it is becoming very common in todays society, leaving marriages with children divided. Divorce is something that many children have to go through, and its not the easiest thing to understand or live through growing up. Personally, my parents got divorced when I was 3 years old. My younger sister was only reaching the age of 1, so she would never grow up to see our parents together at all. The biggest debate on the topic seems to be whether or not divorce affects kids, either negatively or not at all.

In an article produced by psychologytoday.com, titled with the name, “The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents,” it clearly states that affects are seem throughout children with divorced parents. Though this source seems to relay the fact that age plays a major role, it also shows the general ways children react at several different age ranges. Depending on how young the child is, divorce shapes how the grow. If the child is younger, it can make them grow to be a more dependent person, while if the child is in their adolescent years, it can have them growing to be more independent. Divorce changes someone no matter what age. Having a child see the splitting of their two parents has many affects on them. Seeing love vanish, commitment disappear, a shift in the house they are growing up in, only being with one of their parents at a time, all of these things have a significant affect on a child. Research throughout this article reveals that for younger children, trust becomes a harder thing for them to comprehend. The split creates instability, as well as a feeling of insecurity in a household.

Reading through the Scientific American article , “Is Divorce Bad for Children,” offers the opinion that children grow quickly and adapt well. Divorce is seen as hard on children no matter what, but it just might not damage or hurt them as much as others may think according to this piece of literature. This article was found through a magazine with scientific studies provided along side of it, proving its credibility to the public. Relating to the article, it states that divorce will affect most children but for not as long as every would think. It is more of a short term effect with couple negative characteristics that tag along through the process. expressing anger, shock and anxiety are very common seen through children with divorcing parents. Long term, there studies showed there was little to no difference in children with separated parents.

Looking into other sources, I found an article focusing souly on the steps and ways divorce affects children. In the article from verywellfamily.com , an article written by Amy Morin was named, “The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children.” As divorce rates continue to keep climbing, this topic gradually increases with questions. This article seems to line up very well with my first article I found. Most kids are seen to have some type of negative effect by divorce. Kids are even seen to question themselves, asking if it is their fault or why this is happening to their family. Depending on age, it is hard for a child to fully comprehend what is happening around them. Growing up with two parents and then all of a sudden you have to see one of them at a time complete shift the dynamic they grew up knowing to being a normal thing. Different kids have different reactions to divorce but the common factor is confusion. Struggling with the idea of a completely different demeanor throughout the rest of their childhood. Both short and long term negative affects are seen through research in this article. Changes in behavior, school grades, attitude, aggression, and levels of stress are all commonly seen in children with divorced parents. Divorce is negative all around, for every person involved.

Another article seeming to support the fact of divorce not being the worst thing in affecting a childs life came from LIVESCIENCE. The article titled, “Divorce Not Always Bad for Kids,” was written by Rachael Rettner. In this piece, she explains that the worlds view of< “staying together for the kids,” isn’t always the best idea and can cause more damage to them them good. Growing up with parents that have split apart is healthier then seeing your parents fight and disagree constantly. High conflict inside homes creates a sense of disconnect, not only through the connection of both parents in raising their children, but through the relationships of child to parent. Staying together with more conflict seems to cause issues then divorce with less conflict between parents. Each family case is different, but a childs happiness comes from outside factors and a major key to there life is how their parents are living.

As a person with divorced parents, I really do believe it has an extremely negative effect on you as a child. My parents divorced when I was very young, but I grew up with arguments, division, step parents(which made things twice as hard), and a complete split in my family. Having a younger sister, I couldn’t always feels effected because I was looking out for her and how she was feeling most of the time. Not only that, but having to split everything down the middle took meaning out of most family events. Things like holidays, birthdays, vacations, all of these things should be done together as a family unit. In my case, my mom had soul custody of my sister and I, leaving my dad with weekends and couple weekdays every once in awhile. I have always wondered what it would have been like to have parents that would have been together throughout the course of my childhood and how different things could have been today.