--Original published at Brittany's Thoughts
There are many different ways to parent your children. I would consider that the style my mother used on me was one of a “helicopter parent.” She always had asked me what was going on in school, if I had homework, put a lot of pressure on me to succeed academically and always had to know where I was and who I was with. I had friends growing up that had parents that didn’t really care what they did or how they were doing in school or even about going to their extracurricular events like music concerts and sports events, whereas my mother was always present at my concerts. As I see it, parenting is a balancing act in every aspect. The “Perfect” way to parent would be unachievable. I don’t have any children yet, nor do I want them before I am married and established in my career and financially, but I have an ideal way of how I would want to parent my children that could be called a “balanced” parenting technique.
First, you need to pay attention to your children, especially when they are doing appropriate things. They often act out to get your attention, and if you only pay attention to them for inappropriate behavior, then they will continue to do inappropriate things to get your attention. Second, technology should not do more of the parenting than you are. Using technology for educational purposes at home is something I really agree with , but you as the parent still need to educate them yourself and spend quality time with your children, teaching them, playing with them and just spending time with them.
Third, you need to be open-minded about the world and the things your children might do or be. If they cannot see that you are willing to be open-minded about their personal lives that is not deemed socially “normal” or has a stigma around it, they will not open up with you and trust you. Fourth, you do need to guide them. Give them advice when they ask for it because you have probably traveled that road before in life. Fifth, you have to let them make mistakes and get hurt. Lots of valuable learning comes from first-hand experience, and a part of life is making mistakes and getting hurt. Be there for them as a person to help them through those mistakes and pain and help them understand what had happened.
This last part is the hardest part for parents to deal with. Lastly, you need to let your children go when they’re ready. Holding on too tightly and sheltering them too much under prepares them for the world and it can make them resentful of you. They will come back for your guidance and love, so you will not be letting them go forever. Your parenting might even influence their parenting and make a chain reaction for generations to come.
Tiger moms and jellyfish dads are on the opposite sides of the parenting spectrum, one being incredibly strict and the other being laid back. The helicopter parent is on the stricter side of the spectrum as well. I find that my style of parenting is a balance in between both, taking aspects from both sides and incorporating them together to create the most ideal style of parenting.