--Original published at AlyssaM

Parenting is one thing every couple likes to do their own individual way, yet there are some common terms for certain styles like “Tiger moms”. My parents both were very laid back and hardly had rules for my brother and I to follow. One of my friends, Oliver – a sibling of five – was raised completely the opposite, their mother was extremely strict (I never met their father, since he lives in Washington state). Seeing both different types of parenting styles and how the two of us grew up to be, I form my ideas of what I believe to be the best way to raise children to be successful. It may be surprising, but I pick Oliver’s mother’s technique. My mom never required I do simple chores like the dishes or wash, but his did. As a result, Oliver is more hardworking than I am. Any free time, he would find in school such as a study hall, or during theater rehearsal, he was working on homework. If I had a spare moment, I would not be doing my homework, but reading or writing. Once at the end of a youth group meeting, his mother instructed him and his sister to help the staff, with the trash. From then on, it became a habit to take out the trash every week. Oliver’s manners are more well-build unlike mine. The easy way to describe our manners is to say, I was raised in a barn and him in a palace. He carries himself about his days, as regal as a prince, but not prideful, all because of his mother. She always made sure her children upheld the best posture at all time of day, which reflects his entire character. Her strict guidelines shaped him into a wonderful young gentleman and he could easily survive on his own, but me not so much. I never had to do chores, so I do not know very basic skill, like cooking (minus microwavable meals). Having a flexible style being raised, left me wobbly as I now try to learn to walk on my own. Oliver, on the other hand, will have no trouble sailing onward towards the sky. His characteristics are very closely mirrored in his siblings as well, so I was able to conclude it was all how our parents, specifically our mothers raised us.

--Original published at Site Title

Personally, I would not consider any of the three parenting styles the “best” way to parent and raise a child. You need to have a combination and balance of them all in order to achieve the ideal parenting style for producing children that are happy, healthy, and productive members of society.

The “tiger moms” use strict rules, discipline, and overall just drive their child really hard to succeed. These moms use this parenting style to promote success in both their child’s schooling and extra curricular actives, such as sports or learning an instrument. This style often reflects that of a Chinese culture. I think if a child grows up under this parenting they will not be happy with their lives. Not being happy with their lives can result in low self-esteem or depression because they never feel like they are good enough. This parenting can also lead to the development of a perfectionist personality because they grew up in a household where everything needed to be perfect, or else they would get punished.

“Jellyfish dads” have few rules and expectations and are essentially push overs to their kids. When I think of the product of this type of parenting I think of children that are spoiled and disrespectful, because they do not know any better. Due to the lack of respect and the impulsive behaviors these children grow up with I do not believe they would be able to be productive members of society, working for a boss, and listening to someone else’s rules or commands.

Helicopter parents are parents that tend to hover over their child, like a helicopter. They can be overcontrolling and overbearing. When I think of this term I think of a child that cannot do anything without the parent knowing their every move, or even a parent that does everything for their child, such as doing their school projects for them or picking their classes. Although this child might grow up “happy”, they will not develop any life skills because their parent(s) have always been there to do everything for them. This can result in a child growing up to not be able to be a productive member of society, or care for themselves or a family.

Overall, to achieve the “best” parenting style, you can’t pick just one. You have to have balance. There needs to be some rules and discipline, or else your child will run crazy, and can get themselves into some poor life choices. When it comes to extra curricular actives, I think it’s fine to reflect a more “jellyfish” parenting style. If the child wants to be good at something they will work at it, you cannot push them to the point where they hate doing something they once loved or always end up in tears. Being a helicopter parent isn’t always a bad thing either, for example if their child is doing poorly in school, they might need that hovering to get them on the right track.

--Original published at Marlee's Psych 105 Blog

We all know that raising a child is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I’m not saying its rocket science, but shaping a person into who they’re going to be is no easy task. There are many approaches into how to raise your children; some heard of more than others, but yet all effective to some extent. In my opinion, believe that one of the biggest mistakes people can make when parenting is either being too strict or not strict enough. When parenting people need to find a balance that works for both the child and the parents. For example, Tiger Parenting; this is a type of parenting where all control is in the hands of the parent. It is a very authoritarian approach with little good outcome. Children raised in this style can result in becoming diminished and only motivated by external sources. One the other side of the spectrum there are whats called jellyfish parents. In this type of parenting the power is held in the hand of the child. This is where we see children making demands and parents bending over-backward to satisfy their children needs. Now making your child happy isn’t a bad thing but when it comes questionable choices the child is making their needs to be some sort of parental figure telling them right from wrong. I believe that the best kind of parenting is one that is in balance between strict and relaxed. A child needs to have boundaries and be told no from time to time so that they know the real world won’t be given to them on a silver platter. A child also needs to be given the space ti figure out their interests and develop personality without the influence and push of parental figures. Ultimately, the job of a parent is raise their children to think and act independently but, while also making smart beneficial decisions for themselves and others.

--Original published at LivsCollegeBlog

Tiger parents take an authoritarian approach to parenting. There are two different types. Some parents are authoritative “directive,” which means they push and direct their children. On the other end of the spectrum is authoritative “protective.” This is where the parents hover over their children and micromanage every detail of their lives. No matter the type, tiger parents take over their children’s self-motivation or internal control.

Jellyfish parents are more permissive parents. They don’t really care about too many aspects of their children’s lives. They usually have little to no rules, expectations, and basically just spoil their children. Children raise by jellyfish parents tend to grow up with little to no impulse control.

Dolphin parents are the combination of tiger parenting and jellyfish parenting. By nature, they are authoritative. They have rules and expectations, like the tiger parents, but they also value their children’s creativity and independence. They collaborate with their children and guide them rather than tell them what to do or not do anything at all.

By comparing these different types of parenting, I would say that dolphin parenting is the best way to go.

--Original published at Makayla Hockenbrock

Parenting is very difficult topic to discuss. There are so many different variables that come into play, as well as, so many different views depending on how you were raised and how much you know about it. If you say one thing, you could offend someone. Parenting styles are all based on personal preference, but I also believe that how you parent is a reflection on how you were raised.

To produce children with who are happy, healthy, and productive members of society, I feel you need to have a blend of parenting styles. If a parent is to strict I feel the children will become sneaky and get themselves into trouble. If parents are don’t set rules, or ‘parent’ at all, then the kids will feel they are invincible and feel they can do whatever they want without having consequences.

So, what’s the best way to parent in my perspective? I think the best way to parent is as follow: set ground rules, be consistent (if you punish one child for something and the other child does it, punish them the same way), don’t have favorites, do not consistently ask questions about their personal life, be a friend sometimes and not a parent, don’t hover over them, do not push them (if they want to come to you about something, they will on their own time). Being a parent is a difficult task, and by no means am I saying that this is the only way to parent. Many other styles of parenting work well. Parents should want their child or children to flourish in the world and in their community. That being said, parents should not let them be a couch potato. They should want them to be active, curious, and excited to learn. They should want their child to try new things, even if they might fail at the task. Parents should help when help is needed. I could go on and on.

I do also believe that the parenting style chosen to be used also needs to be a good fit for the child. If the child is troublesome, then the parenting style should be a little stricter than if the child was very independent, and the parents had no worries about them. Which ever style is chosen, parenting and being a child go hand in hand, and work together in a way, in my opinion. The best option to choose, when and if you become a parent, is which ever style works best for you and your family.

Best,

Makayla

--Original published at HuntersCollegeBlog

While many parents raise there kids many different ways, some people may argue that some ways are better than others. Some parents baby their kids until they go to college, and even after. Some parents give their kids no guidance at all, and send them out into the real world to fend for themselves. But what is a happy medium perhaps?

Growing up, my parents helped me through everything, whether it’d be making a tough decision, helping me with a homework problem, or getting me to and from places (since I was involved in EVERYTHING). Sometimes though, they felt I needed to be able to make my own decisions, and figure out the homework problem myself, in order to help me grow as a person. In my opinion, I believe the best way to parent is to help your kids when they need it, but also let them figure stuff out on their own. If they’re babied their whole life, they’ll never be ready for the real world.

To me, parents should not baby their children, especially when they start to reach the age of being a preteen. Of course there are going to be times where kids need guidance, and assistance, but kids need to figure stuff out on their own sometimes. For example, if your child keeps reaching for the cookie jar, and you repeatedly tell them to stop, next time they reach for it, the cookies fall out of the jar, onto the dirty floor, and they are unable to eat them. I like to refer to that as “discovery learning,” as my dad likes to put it. If they would’ve listened the first time, there would still be cookies left to eat. I also don’t agree with the whole “participation trophy” thing. In some cases, especially if the kids are young, it can make them believe that life is easy, simple, and theres no losing in life. To me, that’s giving them the wrong idea, a false sense of hope, which in a sense is going to hurt them more than help them in the future.

Now, when kids become older, like teenagers, they’ll want money to go to the mall, or the movies. I believe sometimes kids should get money (on occasion) just because, but often times kids should earn their money. It teaches them how to be responsible, and how to budget. If they realize that they don’t have enough money for two things, they’ll pick the one, and save the money they receive from doing chores to get the other thing later. I also think that when teens are able to get a job, they should. When I turned 16, I immediately got a job at a frozen yogurt shop. Receiving paychecks made me want to work more, and save more. Personally, I hate not having money, and I hate having to ask my parents for their money, and I’ve been like that for a while. Earning my own money also makes me more independent, since I can do whatever I want with that money.

When it comes to how strict parents are with their kids, I believe they should be strict to the point of making sure their kids don’t get in trouble, but also not too strict to the point where kids want to purposefully test the boundaries to see how far they can go. In my opinion, being strict on your kids is important. It can teach them right from wrong, and it can keep them out of danger. The whole point of being strict is to protect your kids from harm. What kid wouldn’t want that? Okay, I get that a 13 year old could get annoyed by always being told no, but let me tell you, it’s the best thing for you. I would always get mad at my parents when they wouldn’t let me walk around the mall with my friends in 6th grade, but now I appreciate that they didn’t, because in this day and age, anything can happen. My parents also wouldn’t let me have boys over to the house freshmen year, which I was always angry about, because my friends could. I’m glad they waited until I was older to let boys come over, because it just showed me that they loved me, and didn’t want me to get hurt.

On that note, I also think parents shouldn’t be so strict that the kids purposefully want to cross the boundaries to see how far they can get. In my opinion, that can sometimes hurt them more. The kids will test boundaries, and since they’re not familiar with what they may be doing, they could get hurt. If parents are so strict with them that they don’t let them do anything, once the kids get to the point where they’re on their own, they’ll want to do everything their parents told them they couldn’t, and that could hurt both the kids and even the parents.

Parents are always going to be there for us if we’re in a bind. They don’t want us to fail. They want us to succeed, and work to the best of our ability. They just want the best for us, and they want nothing more then to watch us grow.

--Original published at Rachelsblog

There are so many different kinds of ways for a parent to help develop their children into happy, healthy, and productive members of society. I believe that there’s no “right” way but there is definitely a “best” way in my opinion.

When a child is first born and growing into their toddler years, they need love and nurturing. The world is a big place in their small eyes and they rely on their parents for everything. The parents need to be their shoulder to lean on. Some parents think it is ok to take “off” days and not parent, but a child needs their parent to be there 24/7 as they are growing up. I believe as the child grows up, they see their parents as their role models and will do what they do because they don’t know any better.

As the child gets older it comes time for the parents to set boundaries and their own rules. The child needs to be taught right from wrong at a young age and be disciplined, but not too much that it is overbearing. I believe that if parents are too strict it just causes the child to sneak around and do stuff behind their parents’ backs.

From personal experience, I have a very good relationship with my parents because they were not overly strict. I believe parents need to be able to put themselves in their kids shoes when they make a mistake because odds are they we’re in the same spot when they were children. Parents aren’t supposed to be their child’s best friend, but they are supposed to be the safety and shoulder for them when they need it.

--Original published at Bailey PSY 105 Blog

Parenting is probably one of the most confusing, exciting, demanding, and rewarding challenges anyone could possibly undertake. In my opinion, the biggest mistake that any parent can make when taking on this feat is swinging too far to one extreme or the other. For example, jellyfish parents are far too lenient, and their children generally lack impulse control and have problems with limits or restrictions placed on them later in life. On the other hand, children raised under the tiger parent or helicopter parent mentality are usually far too hard on themselves and place heavy expectations on themselves throughout their lives. In addition to that, children raised in those environments are far more likely to rebel and push their boundaries, because they live such sheltered lives. I believe the best way to parent is to try and find a healthy balance between being a parent and being a friend, between authority and leniency, and between limits and allowances. Though it is difficult, parents ultimately need to be able to make the call between when to take over the decision making and when to let their children be independent, because in the long run parents cannot be the decision makers forever; their job in the end is to raise their children to independently act, think, and keep themselves and others safe.

--Original published at Kaylyn's PSY105 Blog

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Not only do you bring new life into the world, but you are expected to raise them into their best selves. Once people learn that they are going to become parents, research begins. Some parents will scroll through the trendy parenting blogs, read parenting books, and/ or watch videos on the best ways to parent. Most parents want to raise the “perfect child” and be the best parents for their child. However there is no one solid answer to how to perfectly raise a child, some parents take parenting to the extremes. Some popular terms lately are helicopter parents, tiger parents, and jellyfish parents. Either they are watching their child’s every move, pushing their child, or leaving their child alone. When parents take on one of these parenting types, it can cause their child to have some issues later on in life. This may include lack of independence or teaches them how to not have much respect for rules.

Parenting is hard and there is no perfect way to raise a child since all the children are unique. However, the extremes that helicopter, tiger, and jellyfish parents go to are probably not going to raise a great child. I think there needs to be a healthy mix of involvement, rules, and independence in a child’s life. Parents should be involved in a child’s development because kids need guidance and a support system to establish growth inside and out. Parents are a child’s first teachers and help them learn right from wrong and how to grow into a great adult someday. In my mind, a parent should teach their child how to be a kid but also how to become more independent once they are a bit older. This does not mean let the child make every decision or else we might have children named Batman running around. Kids need their parents in order to become great people and to be respectful, kind, caring, and more. Children need a healthy mix of helicopter parenting, tiger parenting, and jellyfish parenting; in order to, help them develop.