--Original published at Cecilia's Thoughts
Divorce is a prominent issue in not only today’s society, but also in my life specifically. I have lived through three separate divorces, my parents, and then each parent getting remarried and divorced again. Though I have gone through more than most, I believe that it has had both positive and negative effects on me and how I have turned out now that I am older. In order to determine which side is truly correct, i had to complete some research because my own life experiences just were not enough.
I began by looking at articles on the negative effects, the two articles I found were on MomJunction and Iowa State’s research website. The first one is written by Rohit Garoo who has a bachelor’s degree in science and a masters in business. I found this website to be credible by looking at the date of publication, the credentials of the author, as well as editors. This website is edited by a clinical psychologist and a bachelor of medicine. Due to all of these factors, I deemed this source credible. This article discussed ten negative effects of divorce on a child, five short-term effects and 5 long-term effects. Without discussing each of the ten effects I think the most influential effect for short-term is constant stress which is described by Garoo as the false responsibility of the divorce that the child thinks. The child puts this on themselves which can lead to so many other effects on the child. “This can lead to immense stress and pressure on the young mind, which can have several repercussions like negative thoughts and nightmares.” (Garoo, 2018) The second article I found on the negative effects of divorce on children is done by Iowa State and the article was written by Jayna Solinger, I deemed this credible because it is done by a scholarly institution, has an edu tag, and has works cited after the article. Though this article is credible, it’s one fault is that it is bias and is strongly against divorce and intensifies its effects. The general statement of this article is that it is better for everyone involved to work through the problems within a marriage instead of going through a divorce. Though I agree with the first source on the effects it has, I disagree with the second article because many divorces can lead to happy co-parenting and overall more of a positive atmosphere for the parents in each household and for the child going back and forth.
After researching negative effects, I then looked at positive effects. This may seem weird because the question may be asked, how can a failed marriage be good? The first article that I came across was from Psychology Today, written by Neil Farber who has a bachelors of science with honors in psychology who also completed dual Doctorate degrees in research in medicine, this provides a credible author, and a credible website, the date of publication is also recent. This article addresses frequently asked questions about divorce and what the parents can do to help the children going through this and answers for these questions. At the end of the article, Farber discuss ways to have positive outcomes from the divorce and why you should do these things. The second article I retrieved from a website called Divorce and Your Money and it is written by Shawn Leamon who has a Masters of business studies. I chose this source because, though it is not written by a psychologist, it provides information on how in some cases, divorce is the better option. This article basically discusses how not all marriages can be saved, and staying together may be causing more stress on the child and the parents. With this Leamon touches on the fact that if the parents divorce this could lead to less stress, increased ability to adapt because if the child can make it through their parent’s divorce then they can adapt to anything. Shawn also discusses how it also allows how divorce gives the child on-on-one time with each parent (Leamon, 2017).
After reading these four articles on both the positive and negative effects I do not think there is a right or wrong side of the argument. There are both positive and negative effects when going through a divorce and I think that the right decision depends on each and every relationship because each one is unique. In some cases I think it is better for the parents to work through their issues, but in other cases I think it is worse to stay together and put the children and themselves through the constant fighting and conflict. Ultimately it is most important to look at your own relationship and decide what is best for the family, whether the pros outweigh the cons or vice versa to decide whether divorce is more beneficial or detrimental.
Negative Effects:
Garoo, R. (2018). 10 Negative Effects Of Divorce On Children And Ways To Mitigate Them. Mom Junction. Retrieved from https://www.momjunction.com/articles/side-effects-divorced-parents-children_0022338/#gref Solinger, J. The Negative Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rhetoric/105H16/cova/jlscova.html
Positive Effects:
Farber, N. (2018). Enhancing Positive Outcomes for Children of Divorce. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-blame-game/201803/enhancing-positive-outcomes-children-divorce
Leamon, S. (2017.) Potential Positive Effects of Divorce on Children (It may not all be bad news…). Divorce and Your Money. Retrieved from https://divorceandyourmoney.com/blogs/positive-effects-of-divorce-on-children/