--Original published at Michael's Blog

Considering all of the different types of parenting, they all have their pros and cons. While tiger parents, may strive to have their children be very successful academically, their kids may not be allowed to go out and have fun like some of the other kids can do. For jellyfish parents, it is the opposite. Jellyfish parents will let their kids have more freedom and fun, which can lead to lower grades.

My thoughts on parenting are that parents should be more laid back and allow the child to do what they want without being pressured. The parent still needs to be authoritative when necessary. With the parent allowing the child to do what they want, there could potentially be a better bond between the two. When parents are more strict to their children, it can cause feuds and the child may be not as close with their parent as a parent who is less strict.

When the child becomes a teenager, it is natural for them to try and act out in different ways. They may start partying and staying out late. The parent in this case should have a talk with them, but should not completely make them stay in. If the child wants to do something, the parent should let them do it. Being more authoritative in this case is just going to lead to the child doing things behind their back without them knowing, which could actually be worse.

I feel it is important to be in your child’s life as much as possible. Being a loving and supporting parent is what makes a good parent. When a child messes up and has to tell their parent, they shouldn’t be scared to death to tell them. There definitely should be punishment, but it should be somewhat relaxed, depending on what the child did. It is okay to be a helicopter parent, as long as you give the child some space every so often.

--Original published at Miguel's College Blog

In all honesty, I do not think that there really is a “best” way to raise kids. Each kid is different in their own way and that is okay; parents should be embracing and supporting their kids’ differences. What is not okay is creating a general parenting method that is meant to work on everyone. It can be seen in our own childhoods that what may work on other children may not work on us. Children are unique in that they are receptive to different ways of parenting and their parents should adjust accordingly.

I think that an effective way of finding a good parenting technique is to know your children. Really know them. Take the time to find out what they like and dislike. I think that some people know their friends better than they know their own kids. The way parents raise kids lies on a spectrum. On one end, there are helicopter parents and tiger moms who micromanage every single thing that a child does and almost grooms a child into their own image. On the other end are jellyfish dads who allow their children to do whatever they want. Then there is everything in between where most parents are usually, finding what works and what does not as their kids grow. If parents can maintain a good relationship with their children, then as their children grow, the parents should be moving along the spectrum in response to their children’s receptiveness to a certain style of parenting.

As someone’s child and not a parent, I can only speak on my own perspective and what I would have wanted growing up. I cannot be naive and believe that a parent can put all of their focus on their children as they grow up. There are confounding variables that are impossible to predict throughout life, yet certainly have an affect. Before becoming parents, they usually have no prior knowledge on how to raise a child. The moment they become a parent is the moment they start learning. Having their child become successful and live a good life is a common goal for most parents and while most parents have different styles of parenting, they all want that for their children. When their children do become successful, every parent may have that hindsight bias and say that their parenting style was what helped them become successful when in fact, they probably had no idea what they were doing.

--Original published at JD's Blog

A happy and healthy child produces a happy and healthy adult. One of the most important factors in children’s life are their parents. You have your tiger moms, the mothers who seem to take total control over their child pushing them to their outermost limits and taking nothing below straight A’s as acceptable. They control their child’s life. Some force their child to play sports and music even if they don’t want to. If their little star has any free time it is almost always spent studding. Then there is the polar opposite. The Jellyfish Dad. This guy is very laid back and seems to let their kid get away with anything anywhere and anyhow. They become a friend of their children rather than a parent in some cases. The third option is the helicopter parent. They must know everything their child is doing at all times. It may even seem like they have trackers set up for their trackers. Out of these three options I do not think any of them could truly produce a child that is totally happy, healthy and will become a productive member of society. I think it takes a healthy combination of the tree to produce the best scenario. However, if I had to choose I would go with a tiger mom. Tiger moms train their kids to accept nothing but the best and do their best on everything. They are always on their children to be a better version of themselves and teach them many life lessons. Although the child might not be happy all of the time, they will definitely learn how to be a productive member of society.

I feel that parents should teach their kids to accept nothing but the best of themselves and to always push harder every time they do something. It is good to learn at an early stage that the real world doesn’t always accept mediocre work and excuses like some parents do. However, the child should also be allowed some quality free time and the ability to do things they actually enjoy. This will help them stay happy and healthy. When it comes to surveillance I get it. One of a parent’s greatest treasures is their child, hopefully. Parents have a right to know where their kids are and what they are doing. That being said, they should teach their kid about trust and loyalty gaining some for themselves in the process. Trust is a key factor in any relationship especially with kids. Overall a parent who has the ability to turn into any of these stereotypes, but knows when to use each one, is the ideal way a parent should raise their child.

--Original published at Sidney's college blogs

For this week’s first impression post, I am choosing to write about the ideal way to raise a child. My parents used a mix of different parenting skills. Some worked, and some have also failed. So, based off my experience of being a young adult, and the way my parents raised me, I’ll explain the ideal way to raise children. I mean, I think I turned out alright!

I’ll start with the way my mother treated me when growing up. My mother has always been very loving and nurturing. Instead of direct punishment, she would say things in response to our actions. These phrases would often contain something along the lines of, “I’m very disappointed in you” or, “I thought I could expect more from you.” Nothing was worse than disappointing my mother. When a mistake was made, it made you reflect on it and make you feel badly about it until you apologized for doing whatever it was. This form of parenting worked very well for my siblings and me.

My father had a different type of parenting style. My dad was more of the punishment type of parent. When one of us siblings did something bad, punishment was given. There was always an understanding of why there was punishment given. Without punishment given, I feel that we would have been rebellious and disrespectful children. Punishment allows for correction to be made within reason. Without it, the child will be used to getting their own way and getting away with different acts.

Both of my parents were encouragers. They have pushed each of us siblings to become the greatest that we can be. They have helped us get where we need to be, and they still encourage us to do better. Although they encourage us, they’re not overly hard on us, and I think that is important in parenting. You don’t want to push your kids into something so much that they end up hating that certain thing, but you also don’t want to let them leave off their dreams.

I feel that parenting should take on a mix of aspects. You should be there for your children when they need you. They need a role model and someone to talk to. My mom has always been my best friend, but she also takes the role of a parent. She doesn’t want to only be my best friend, she knows the line that needs to be drawn with that. I agree completely with this aspect of parenting as well. Parenting should have punishment involved as well. Without it is the reason people say that there is a “problem with kids these days.” Responsibilities should also be given with parenting. Children shouldn’t grow up without having chores to do. It teaches them responsibility and it teaches them valuable things that they’re going to need later in life. For example, I know plenty of people who didn’t even know how to wash their clothes when they got to college. It blew my mind! These are some of the many things that I feel should be incorporated into parenting your children.

--Original published at Jessie's PSY105 Blog

After reading the prompt for this week, the first thing that I did was to look into what a ‘jellyfish dad’ is. While I have heard of the terms ‘tiger mom’ and ‘helicopter parent’, I have never heard of ‘jellyfish dad’. After researching it, I found out that a ‘jellyfish dad’ is a dad that gives their child a lot of freedom. This contrasts both ‘tiger mom’ and ‘helicopter parent’ which involves micromanaging every aspect of your child’s life and attempting to ensure that they turn out exactly the way that you, as their parent, hope they will. In thinking about the way that I think children should be parented, I would assume that my opinions line up with most others. I would want to find a happy medium between the parenting techniques outlined above. While I feel that it is important to provide children with a structured environment, I do not feel that it is beneficial to smother them. Taking too much control over your child can hinder them in becoming responsible for themselves and even in developing creativity (due to the fact that every decision in their life is made by their parents). However, letting a child have too much leeway can also be extremely detrimental. Until they are old enough to make certain decisions for themselves, they need to be taught and shown how to be responsible and safe. Overall, I think that as a child gets older, they should be given more and more opportunities to prove what they have learned from their parents and to demonstrate the responsibility that has been shown to them. I feel that this would help their self confidence and encourage them to listen, and be responsible, as they get older.

--Original published at The Core Techs

What does it take to become the best parent you can be? What does it take to raise a child or multiple children who grow up to live happy, healthy lives?

They say that in order to be a parent, you must first be a child. What does this mean? The answer is actually pretty simple – just put yourself in your child’s shoes! I am no parent, so I really don’t have much room to talk, but coming from a young adult’s perspective may provide an advantage.

I grew up as an adopted child. The nature vs. nurture debate seems to be a rather popular study among my life. Growing up, there are many things I appreciated that my adoptive parents did. One of the most important things they did for me was treat me like I belonged. I was adopted – I was not the same blood as my family. Sometimes, this can be devastating to find out for some children. Although this may be true, my parents always told me growing up about how special I was, and that it didn’t matter where I was from because I belonged here. Another important thing to consider is to not try to hide the fact that your child is adopted. My parents told me that I was adopted right from the beginning, and they probably started telling me before I even understood what it meant. Holding the truth back for a longer amount of time is going to hurt worse in the long run. It’s like pulling back the arrow farther and farther, and the more you pull it back, the more powerful and harmful the release is. As a parent, you must always be careful what you say; monkey-see, monkey-do. Children really are monkeys, and that is no doubt. If you curse frequently, your child will pick up on this. Kids are very quick and eager learners. Sometimes, they learn things a little too young and a little too fast. Often times, they do not realize the weight of the things they say or what they even mean for that matter. Setting a good example is one of the most important parts of being a parent. Being healthy is a crucial example to set. Teach your kids to eat and exercise properly. Teach them to be responsible, say please and thank you, and sleep well (bathing and brushing teeth is important too, unless, of course, you like the smell of a stinky breath and bad B.O.). All of the regular, everyday activities are essential to learn, but one of the most everyday activities is often far over-looked; to love.

Love is one of the biggest components. In order for children to grow up to reproduce, we must teach them not to be afraid of love. One of the first things a baby picks up on is the idea of a “mommy” and “daddy.” Automatically, children associate these two terms together. Right from the start, it seems obvious that mommy and daddy are in a little thing called love. As they grow up, they will watch everything you do, including how you treat your significant other. There is a great story about the love of a mother and her beliefs on teaching her child about what love should be;

A young couple gets married, being passionate, fiery, and adventurous. Their love was a bond that was impossible to separate. Every morning, the husband would carry his wife out of the bedroom in his arms. She giggled wildly as he dropped her off in the kitchen. Eventually, this couple had a baby. As the baby grew up, times got tougher. The couple would often find themselves arguing and picking little fights. The child was growing up fast, and soon he would notice that mom and dad were not as in love as they once were. The mother says to her husband, “Do you remember when you used to carry me out of the room in your arms each morning?” He replies, “Yeah, when we were actually in love.” The mother replies, “I need you to start doing that again. For our little boy. He needs to know what true love looks like.” It took some convincing, but eventually the father agreed. The boy laughed with joy every morning the father carried the mother out from the bedroom to the kitchen. One night, the husband told the wife that he would like a divorce, and although she did not want one, she agreed… Under one condition; “Up until the moment of our divorce, you must continue to carry me out of the bedroom smiling for our little boy,” she said. The man was hesitant, but caved in. As the days went by, the husband continued to pick up the wife and haul her to the kitchen. Memories flooded his brain, and a part deep inside of him grew sad that this had to end. As he picked her up, he began to notice her features more; She looked tired… Much more tired than her usual energetic self. He also noticed that she was loosing weight, almost to the point where he could feel her rib cage. How much had he missed? What had happened? The days passed, and the more he could feel himself falling in love again, watching as their little boy giggled hysterically. Why would he ever even think about giving this up? He marched upstairs to tell his wife that he would no longer like a divorce, but when he got upstairs, he walked in only to find her pale body lying lifelessly in bed with a note beside her. In the letter, she explained that she was diagnosed with cancer a while ago. They told her she only had a few more weeks to live, and she did not want anyone to grieve for her while she was still alive. She only wished for their little boy to know what true love was…

This story makes a very good point in saying “Don’t take life for granted,” but it also shows the true love of a mother with a young, growing child. So, although all the essential things, such as setting examples for your child on how they should eat, exercise, work, say please and thank you, and more, showing them how to love is what I believe is the most important. Hopefully, their future is filled with success, and he or she will grow up to have a beautiful spouse with beautiful children who also know what love is. May the tradition continue through the generations. Maybe someday the world will know peace.

What do you think is the correct way to approach parenting, Core Techs?

-B

pixabay.com

--Original published at Emily's Blog

I chose the first option for this week which was about different parenting styles. To provide some background, I grew up in a household with two loving parents and three older brothers. Growing up in my household, I was not raised by a tiger mom who only enforced strict rules, tough love, and discipline. On the contrary, my mother was tough but was sensitive to me when necessary. I also was not raised by a jellyfish dad; my father was compassionate but took discipline seriously. Today, I do not believe my parents are or were helicopter parents but some of my early journal entries would disagree. They were very invested in me, but overall, I think they were able to raise me to gain independence.

The purpose of these descriptions of my parents is because I think my parents were very effective in parenting my siblings and me. My childhood is evidence of what I believe to be the best way to parent. My parents made my brothers and me get up every weekend at eight in the morning. We then had about thirty minutes to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and go outside. My parents woke us up, so we could do yard work every weekend. Not only do I have a rather large yard to take care of, but my parents wanted to teach me and my siblings the value of hard work. I used to envy my friends who could sleep in and watch cartoons on Saturdays, but I know am thankful because I have the ability to work hard.

My parents also demanded respect from us. They made sure we were punished if we “talked back” to them. This was done so we would obey them and realize the world does not revolve around us. Although sometimes it was difficult to obey my parents because of my desire to rebel, they were always loving while being tough on me. I appreciate these parenting techniques which were used in my childhood. I was taught the value of hard work which will benefit me all my life. I was taught respect for authority which has humbled me and helped me in jobs I have had. I believe parents need to be loving but if they do not teach their kids hard work and respect at an early age, I think they will struggle as they get older.

--Original published at Site Title

For quite a long time, and surely for many more years to come, the different ways parents choose to raise their children has been, and will continue to be a major controversial subject. Many people argue that the best way to raise a child is by laying out all of the rules in a very strict manor, while others have determined a more laid back method to be the best approach, and some who prefer a combonation of both. There are some parents who spoil their children with every item they could possibly desire, some who make their children work for all of their own luxuries, and some parents who fall inbetween. These examples hardly even begin to scratch the surface of the topic, but it clearly serves to show that there are varrying ways to raise a child. So, which way is the “best” way?

Truthfully, I believe that when comparing these differnt parenting methods to one another, there is no “best” way to raise a child. Every child is different. This means that they respond to discipline and praise in different ways, excell under different circumstances, take criticisim differently, and so on.  However, there are certain ideas and values that all parents should desire to imbed into the hearts and minds of their children.

I believe that the ideal way to raise a child should not be based upon whether they grow up with strict rules versus leniant policies, many material items versus few, and so on. It should mainly be based upon a parent teaching their child that respect is imperative, and that they should do to others as they would wish for others to do upon them.

--Original published at JanellesCollegeBlog

Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents are all extreme philosophies that parents can chose when deciding how to raise their children. These styles of parenting all have their pros and cons with how the child will be raised. With tiger moms, although the child may grow up to be very successful and goal-oriented, they may also have the tendency to rebel and feel like nothing in their life is theirs. Jellyfish dads are the opposite of tiger moms and often allow their children to do anything and everything that they want. These types of parents almost never say “no” to their children which often causes the child to grow up spoiled with no self-control. Helicopter parents are parents that pay attention to everything that the children do and try to manage the little details and schedules of their children’s day to day lives. This can cause children to want to hide information from their parents and be secretive.

My parents were a mix of these extremes. In some ways, my parents were tigers in that they always push me to strive my best, but they would never get disappointed in me if I ever did poorly in school or other activities. Also because I am the youngest of the three siblings and the only girl out of the three of us, I definitely have had my fair share of being spoiled like with jellyfish parents. Also, my parents could be considered helicopter parents as they often want to know what’s going on in my life and will help organize and plan things for me to do. There have been plenty of times since I got here at college that my mom has texted me asking how I’m doing or what my plans are, and after a while, this can get pretty annoying. Nonetheless though, I love my parents and think they have done an amazing job raising me. They always supported me in what I wanted to do and let me run free (as long as I was relatively safe). I also feel like I can be open to my parents about my life because they are extremely accepting and will always have my back. I believe that this communication level is important to have between parent and child.

For my own children, I would like to try to raise them the way my parents did but maybe a little less like a helicopter. I think that it is important to be open with your children and not hold any harmful secrets from them. I want my children to think of me as their friend who can help them with anything, but not as a best friend because this would cause them to lose respect for me. Also, it is essential to try to push children to attain their full potential, but also let them know that as long as they do their best it will all be okay. I would not reward bad behavior or over-spoil my children, but I would always try to give them my love and reward them for all of the good things that they do in life. Also, I think that it is important for children to have the freedom to explore, use their imaginations, and be themselves. I do not want my children to be afraid to be who they really are, and I want them to experience and discover the world in their own way. This means not being overly crazy and worried about every single harmful thing out there. It means letting them figure out what is not good and what is in life, and always being their for them if they ever need an ear that will listen or a shoulder to cry on. I want to be able to be there for my children all the time and help support and give them advice whenever I can. I think these are the most important qualities to have between a child and a parent: respect, honesty, openness, and encouragement. The best parent is a mix between all the extremes with a lot of love on top.

--Original published at Nadia's Blog

In general I think that parenting is one of the most difficult tasks and is something that almost every parent would strive to do their best at. Parenting can be approached in many different ways and that is clearly acknowledged based on the different stereotypical parents like helicopter parents, tiger moms and jellyfish dads. Although each parent might approach raising their child differently, I think that ultimately they each believe that their child will grow up to be a well-rounded individual and will be successful in whatever they choose to do.

I think that the most effective way to allow your child to be happy, healthy and a productive member of society is by having an equal balance of respect, honesty and friendship. In order for a child to be happy, it is necessary for them to be in a positive environment and be able to have a good relationship with his/her parents. For parents it is important for them to be able to discuss all aspects of their child’s lives, so that there is a mutual understanding in all areas. This goes hand in hand with honesty, it is one of the most important things for a parent and their child to be honest with one another so they can each respect each other. If a child does not trust their parent, they will not be able to go to them when they need them, and ultimately it is a parent’s job to be there for their child. One of the most important aspects of raising a child in my mind is friendship. This could be easily overlooked and in many cultures this would not be something that a parent would have with their child. I think that if a child is afraid and intimidated by their parents that they would be more secretive and attempt to handle most situations on their own.  Some individuals may think that by being your child’s friend that the child would be more reckless and think they could get away with more leisure. This may be true in some cases, but if there is an equal balance of friendship as well as respect and honestly, I think that the child would be aware of their boundaries, responsibilities and make wise decisions. I think that if a parent is too harsh, strict or enforces punishment on small actions the child will most likely act out more in an act of rebellion or decide to be more secretive and hide things from their parents. In order for a child to be happy and benefit society it is important for them to be raised properly with the correct help from their parents and be able to pass on the support they were given to other individuals.