--Original published at Kevin Psych Blog

I think that parenting should be done from a distance. Not in such a way that you don’t develop a bond with your children, of course that’s important. You should be a loving caretaker. What I mean is that too often parents tend to be very controlling and strict. This is fine up to a certain age, in my opinion,  around 15 years old. Up to about that point it’s obviously important to keep a short leash on your children, you have to make sure they’re safe until they’re capable of being responsible for themselves. As soon as they hit that point, I would say it’s time to turn into more of a “guiding hand” for your children. I don’t see it as the responsibility of the parents to lord over their kids, they should be free to make their own good and bad decisions and learn from their experiences instead of being kept sheltered. I for one have had the luxury of not having very strict parents, they don’t mind me doing most things so long as I don’t get caught doing them. I believe that that’s about the perfect level of strictness, and I think I’ve turned out pretty decent so far. I see people who have incredibly strict parents who do not allow them any freedom and I see their childhoods being taken away from them, and I think that’s sick. Of course, if a kid is making a serious mistake that could lead to them ruining their lives, at that point it is the parents job to take a more direct role.

I also hate when I see parents who try to manipulate their children’s thoughts and ideas and force their own ideologies upon them, it serves to do nothing but create unthinking clones of previous generations and I don’t see how that can benefit society at all. New ideas need to be allowed to form and be spread for the world to improve and parents often try to feed their children the same mindset they have. Instead of doing that, I think we ought to take a similar approach to what I said above. If a child comes to you to talk about politics or religion, don’t shove your views down their throats. Have a discussion with them and challenge them, let them come to their own conclusions.

My point in all of this is that parenting should be about bringing up a unique individual with their own experiences and ideas that they can put to use in adult life. If you try to be overbearing then your child will struggle to be their own person and suffer as a result, be it economically or emotionally. Freedom is needed to thrive.

--Original published at BillardnBlog

My first thought about this topic is that parenting can be a blend and balance of many different styles, including the three mentioned. In my own experience both my parents held my siblings and I to higher standards with most things from academics to manners. My parents would push us when they believed there is room for improvement, such as if we got a bad grade or struggling in a class. In doing this was positive pressure unlike the pressure that would make us extremely stressful. This gave us qualities of hard work to get the better grade and not settle for something less.

I think the terms tiger mom, jellyfish dad, and helicopter parents are harsh labels and at most times too specific to an individual parent. Parenting is commonly a combined effort and decisions are made together to deal with situations. All the terms of parenting can come with consequences of the kids. A too strict or tiger parent can cause their child to rebel against them. While a parent that is too easy-going or a jellyfish can have their child never taking responsibility or putting in hard work. Being a helicopter parent seems too excessive to a kid and then they don’t want to let their parents into details of their lives. A question I have is does a helicopter parents resemble them trying to live vicariously through their child? They become so in-tune to their lives and then want to perfect it. Also, does parenting vary between children? Some say that parents are more strict on their first child then a second or third. I think the best parenting comes with understanding your child’s interests and strengths, then help and guide them for the most success.

--Original published at Site Title

The topic of parenting and parenting styles is one that I find very interesting to talk about. I believe that I was raised differently than most of my friends and peers. My parents are very old school due to the fact that they also raised my older brothers who are 8 and 13 years older than me. We were all raised the same way for the most part but it was more difficult for my parents when they got to me. Since technology is a very prevalent thing in our society, my mom and dad had to adapt and try their best to stick to their normal plan for me. But they were hesitant and skeptical about many things and because of this I believe that I wasn’t given as much freedom as many of my friends. I had many restrictions and at the time I was very mad at them and thought that none of that was fair. Looking back on it though, I now see what they were trying to do for me.

But that doesn’t mean that I agree and would raise my own kids the same way. I think that having too many restrictions and rules will lead a child to be more secretive and rebel. A parent being more relaxed and giving their child more freedom would lead to a more trusting relationship between them. Of course the parent will have to be strict and put their foot down when the situation calls for it but they should trust their child to make the right decisions when they give them that freedom. I also think that parents should let their child think for themselves and accept them even if they don’t grow up with the same beliefs as them. As long as the child has morals and is a respectful young adult then the parent has been successful in raising them.

--Original published at Em

This post is very interesting to me because growing up I had always heard of people saying “ugh my parents are so strict.” My parents were always more of the relaxed type no curfew, more of the just let me know whats going on. Of course this was great for free time. Then the minute my mom said no to me or set a rule without giving me a reasonable answer I did not understand . We always had discussions about rules and I felt I was heard. I think they didn’t really give me much advice on life or big decisions it was kind of you’ll get it.  Which of course I did, even if it was a stressful circumstance. Since then I decided I would be a very strict parent until I rethought it. I would check grades, set curfews, sent kids to summer camps the whole nine yards. The system relaxed parenting left no structure.

Now in retrospect I think it was fine. I do know how to do important adult things.  I learned a lot from those experiences. Now as to the strict parent idea I believe there should be a balance.  If a parent is too strict the child may rebel. A parent needs to be a resource a child can use to learn from and support them. They need to know that you expect them not to do illegal activities but if they are intoxicated and need a ride they can call you. The balance needs to raise a independent child that has support if needed.