--Original published at Emily's Blog

Divorce is defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Divorce has a negative connotation because it is two people separating. One of the most frequently asked questions after a couple announces their divorce is where will the children go? Will they be okay? This is because divorce in some form will have an impact on the children whether it be negative or positive. Some sources believe divorce has a negative affect on children because of increased levels of stress or the possibility of later problems they could potentially face. Other sources disagree and believe the divorce does not have a strong effect if the parent’s happiness would increase if they were apart.

The rate of divorce has been increasing each year and now about one million children in the United States have divorced parents. Research has shown some children have increased stress due to their parents separating. This is due to any changes made to the home after the divorce meaning a new environment or less resources. The change may also have emotional stress put on the child. Often a child will “lose” a parent after a divorce because they may not see them regularly or one parent could have totally custody. The child may also be subject to arguments between the parents. If the adults do not get along, the child may feel caught in the middle of problems they face, or the child could constantly be hearing one parent degrade the other. The divorce may also place unnecessary pressure on the child as the parents could be fighting over custody thus causing the child to feel responsible for any conflict. Research has shown not only emotional issues during the divorce but also for the individual’s entire life. The rate of depression and behavioral problems increases significantly if the child has been through a parent’s divorce. The future relationships the individual may encounter is also a factor because it is shown children have lower self-esteem.The sources on the negative effects are credible because they provide little pathos when explaining the research conducted. Also, they show the counter argument because the research cannot apply to everyone involved in this situation. It is mentioned how the research was conducted and on what types of people though they could include more information about their statistics.

Though it is seen in some research, the negative effects outweigh the positive, this is not true for every situation. For many years before divorce has become popular, parents would stay together for the good of their children. This can be detrimental to the parents because they are miserable and the children because they are not experiencing their parents in a good state of mind. Abuse is also considered because it may not be safe for one parent to live with the other parent so if they stayed together this would put the child at higher risk for abuse. Also, according to the American Psychological Association, most children adjust to the separation within two years. This is not an extended amount of time. Although the children may suffer lower self-esteem as a result, only a small percentage of children with divorced parents also encounter marital conflicts in their personal lives. There is also research surrounding “The Good Divorce” which is a way for parents to meet all the needs for their children while not being married. In this, the parents put aside their personal feelings and focus on the well-being of the child. This theory works when the parents have good communication and a mutual understanding. These sources on the positive effects are credible because they provide the counter argument to a widely believed fact divorce is only harmful to children. It also provides many real problems including abusive situations.

I believe divorce is not good for any part of the family whether it be the parents or the children. It is a separation of the family unit and causes tension between family members. I do not have personal experience because my parents have been married for twenty-eight years but I have seen some of the effects it has had on my friends. Some of my friends have been through rehabilitation, counseling, and have suffered from depression stemming from their parent’s separation. They also suffer in their romantic relationships as they have not seen marriage play out well in their home. Others of my friends are thankful their parents have been divorced. Whether it be an abuse situation, absent parenthood, or general happiness that has been restored. They believe their parents are better off apart than together. Due to the situations I have walked through with my friends the research I have read has reaffirmed what I have known about divorce. Overall, I believe divorce is a sad thing but the effects of divorce on children depends on the individual and their situation.

Resources

1. https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/the-impact-of-parental-separation-and-divorce-on-the-health-status-ofchildren-and-the-ways-to-improve-it-2332-0672-1000137.php?aid=67622
2. http://dujs.dartmouth.edu/2010/05/risk-and-resilience-in-children-coping-with-parental-divorce/#.WpAx86jwY2z
3. http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1992-98861-009
4. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx
5. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.01269.x/full
6. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3223936/

--Original published at Hope's PSY105 Blog

For years there has been a debate as to whether or not divorce is harmful to the children of the couple.  With different outcomes in every situation that occurs, it seems that more often than not the children are affected more than they let on.

In an article by Dr. Jann Gumbiner, she points out that so many things, not just the household suffer at the hands of this divorce.  For Gumbiner, she gives her own personal story of her parent’s divorce.  She talks about how she began to let her grades and studies slip because it was her way of rebelling against the decision.  Extra-curriculars between herself and her brother failed to continue because her father was gone, and her mother was too depressed to leave her bed, let alone leave the house (Gumbiner 2011).  Other articles, like one from Harry Benson, state that the financial aspect of the family can also suffer.  With one parent in the house, or one having to find somewhere else to live, it really hurts the family.  They may not be able to afford all of the things they were once able to, like yearly family vacations or cars for each child.

Divorce pulls the family apart, quite literally.  Say you have a family of four: mom, dad, daughter, son.  Mom and dad have been together for about sixteen year, and decide to get divorced.  The mother then takes the kids away from the father and moves into a new house down the street, when they had only been in this house together for about three years.  Dad wants to spend more time with the kids but cannot take them during the day because he works full time as a teacher, whereas the mother does not have a job.  He picks them up after school and takes them back to their new house, the one where he doesn’t belong.  The young son, who has Asperger’s, does not understand why dad does not live with them.  Why did they move to a new house and dad stayed behind?  They go over occasionally, to bake cookies, or to decorate the Christmas tree, or maybe just to hang out.  For the most part, though, he lived in this five-bedroom house by himself.  It broke the father down so much that he sought out the comfort of someone much younger than him and got himself in trouble.  The mother cut ties with the father and everyone he knew and turned many people against him.  The son did not understand what was happening, but the daughter understood everything and cried about it every night.  She tried to quit every activity she was in because of how upset she was.  The divorce tore the family apart and there is never anything that will put them back together.

On the other hand, there are people who say that divorce, although painful for everyone, can be planned out in a way that lessens everyone’s pain.  The way that Mark Banschick sees it, you can put a label on each of the parents, knowing which is the “healthier, more mature” parent.  Often painting the wife as taking the victim role, Banschick gives a list of ways to make the divorce clean and how to try to keep everyone as happy as possible.  It does say that therapy may be necessary for all those involved, including the children.  This article says that children will eventually grow and accept the circumstances.  It will not affect them the way it once did.  “Some will hurt forever while others will emerge stronger because of the experience.” (Banschick 2011).  Brette Sember of The Huffington Post says that “a good divorce is better than a bad marriage for kids” (Sember 2015).  She believes that children with happily divorced parents are better off than those in bad marriages.  There will be two separate but happier homes, the emotions in each house will not be as high, and the life skills that come from each parent once they learn to parent on their own.

I believe divorce hurts children tremendously.  Even the thought of divorce can take an emotional toll on a child.  When I was young, my parents got in a huge fight that ended in my mother threatening to call a divorce lawyer and her getting in the car and driving away.  She came back a few hours later after she calmed down and they sat down and talked about what had happened.  In those few hours, I cried at the thought of my mom leaving my dad.  They were a power couple and superheroes in my eyes, and I couldn’t lose one of my superheroes.  Years later, I still think about that day, that fight, that moment my mother turned the key of her car.  Divorce hurts, and the effects do not just go away.

Sources

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-teenage-mind/201110/divorce-hurts-children-even-grown-ones

https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-kids

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201110/the-malignant-divorce

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html

--Original published at Jessie's PSY105 Blog

The extent to which a child is affected by divorce is a widely controversial topic. While no child goes through the divorce of their parents without experiencing any change at all, (for example, they would typically no longer be living with both of their parents anymore) the extent to which the child is affected is frequently debated. Psychologists have conducted extensive research in order to figure out whether divorce is typically detrimental to the state of the child, or if it really has no significant effect. One such experiment was conducted by the Clinical Psychology Laboratory at University of Chieti in 2015. Four hundred and seventy adults, who were products of a divorced household, were given anonymous surveys. These surveys measured the amount of feelings of alienation and issues with self esteem that surfaced later in life. They measured how many of the participants experienced neglect and other commonalities associated with divorced parents, a prevalent example being feeling as if one parent was trying to turn them against the other make the child choose a favorite. An association was found in self-esteem being positively correlated with parent care and negatively associated with overprotection. Meaning those that felt neglected developed feelings of low self esteem and those that felt crowded by the single, overprotective parent, also developed lower self-esteem. This study concluded that children who experience divorce, developed statistically significant levels of self esteem later in life.

Another study, also conducted in 2015, by psychologists Kathryn Lynn Modecki, Melissa Hagan, Irwin Sandler, and Sharlene Wolchik. This specifically looked into the effects that the absence of a father figure due to divorce has on the child. Statistically, in most cases, mothers are awarded custody over fathers. It was found that more mental health issues were reported by children that claimed to have little contact with their father. This was heightened in situations where the father was seen more often due to the increased amount of conflict that occurred between the parents. Those who are not exposed to their father as much following the divorce also had poorer psychosocial adjustment. These results supported the idea of a divided household being worse for the child.

Another study was conducted by Grant W. Mohi in 2015. This focused on offspring of divorced households and their success in romantic relationships later in life. Interviews found it to be statistically significant that the success of relationships did not correlate with divorce in early life. Despite conflict between their parents being reported, it was not found that this conflict was mirrored in the child’s adult life.

A personal account from sociologist Christine Carter also supported the idea of divorce. The overall message was that divorce was better for the children than remaining in a marriage that created a bad environment for the children. It was emphasized that the divorce had to be a ‘good’ divorce. Meaning, the parents remained in contact and conflict was avoided as much as possible. Healthy relationships were maintained between both parents and the child. It was supported that a more positive environment, whether divorced or not, is what’s best for the child.

In my opinion, divorce is ultimately bad for children. The evidence was overwhelming during my research. There were numerous articles and experiments conducted that supported there being significant negative effects on children that go through divorce. While a ‘good’ divorce was mentioned by a few sources, the chances of this happening are slim and it seems rare that it is achieved. I concluded each source above to be credible because they were scientific experiments that were reviewed and published. The last account was an example of primary research in how the experiment was conducted by the sociologist herself. It was supported by other cases that she researched. Overall, I find that there is a large amount of evidence supporting the theory that divorce causes negative effects on the children involved.

References

Verrocchio, M. C., Marchetti, D., & Fulcheri, M. (2015, November 03). Perceived Parental Functioning, Self-Esteem, and Psychological Distress in Adults Whose Parents are Separated/Divorced. Retrieved February 23, 2018, from https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01760/full

Elam, K. K., Sandler, I., Wolchik, S., & Tein, J. (2016, March). Non-Residential Father-Child Involvement, Interparental Conflict and Mental Health of Children Following Divorce: A Person-Focused Approach. Retrieved February 23, 2018, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4749464/  

Mohi, G. W. (2015, September 22). Positive Outcomes of Divorce: A Multi-Method Study on the Effects of Parental Divorce on Children. Retrieved February 20, 2018, from https://urj.ucf.edu/docs/mohi.pdf

Carter, C. (2012, March 19). The “Good” Divorce. Retrieved February 23, 2018, from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_good_divorce  

--Original published at Miguel's College Blog

The number of divorces has increased over the past couple of years for a myriad of reasons. It may be generational, religious, or a societal paradigm shift that accepts divorce more easily. Whatever the case may be, divorce changes the dynamic of a family. Children are caught in the crossfire of pre-divorced parents and are left confused when the parents do divorce. Whether or not children are negatively or positively affected by divorce has been a consistent topic of debate.

An article by Dr. Jann Gumbiner of Psychology Today argues that no matter the outcome of the divorce, the divorce destroys a child’s concept of a family and further negatively affects the child. Dr. Gumbiner is a psychologist and a daughter of a divorce so her experience with divorce is not only firsthand, but also researched and studied. Dr. Gumbiner shares that after divorce, children feel a sense of self blame for the failed marriage. Even older or intelligent children are left even with a small sense of guilt that the divorce happened to their family. Along with the confusion, children were more prone to partake in rebellious behavior because of the lack of parental supervision. Dr. Gumbiner responded to how people in the 70’s thought that getting divorced was okay for self growth as being selfish. She wonders why parents would put their children at risk for their own dream of happiness. Children are dependent on adults, while adults are supposed to be the responsible figure that influences their children in a positive way. Dr. Gumbiner also brings up the point that children of divorce suffer long term consequences when it comes to building relationships. Children of divorce are more likely to divorce and go into relationships cautious about trusting others.

Another article that supports the perspective that children are negatively impacted by divorce comes from the Institute of Family Studies. The author, Harry Benson, is a communications director of the Marriage Foundation, a foundation that educates and strives to help people think about their relational choices. Benson shares two main reasons why a divorce can damage a child. The first reason is that after a divorce, the child witnesses a drastic change in economical stability.  Family income is split and may impact the child’s way of life. Resources become limited and this type of stress not only affects the parent, but also the child. To add to this, single parents have to adjust their parenting style and may have to take on both roles of the parent, further confusing the child’s interpretation of parenting roles. The second reason is that children perceive divorce differently from their parents. The parent’s decision to separate is obvious between the two, while the child is kept in the dark up until the separation. This confuses the child as it brings a sense of self blame and affects the child’s perception of relationships when they get older. Benson adds that another aspect of confusion can come when the parents get along after the separation. The child only sees that the parents are cooperating, so why was it necessary to separate?

While the past two articles have shown how divorce negatively impacts children, there is still debate on the positive impacts that divorce can have on not only the child, but also the parents. An article by Wendy Paris of Psychology Today shares a study by Cambridge University professor Michael Lamb that supports positive outcomes of children after divorce. The study showed that children are well off when they can have good relationships with both parents, even if the parents are not living in the same house. Also, children benefit from having parents that are emotionally stable. This allows a safe, stable environment for the child to thrive in. Lastly, the study showed that children benefit with adequate resources like food, housing, and social support, but do not have to be provided by parents that are living under the same roof. Paris shares that after her own divorce, she was able to  balance co-parenting through structured routines, thoughtful communication between parents, and being emotionally present for her children. By having separated parents that can cooperate and support their children, the children are allowed to thrive and create a better understanding of relationships.

Another article by Brette Sember, an author for the Huffington Post, shares how a divorce might be better than staying in a toxic marriage. Sember was a former divorce attorney, mediator, and law guardian so she has interacted with many families going through separation that allows her to share a unique perspective on divorce. Sember talks about how staying married “for this kids” is toxic because the children are exposed to a volatile environment. Arguments, tension, and possibly violence are created under one roof and a child absorbs all of the negative energy, resulting in possible replication of the environment when they are older. By separating, there are benefits that the child are exposed to such as two homes where arguments do not take place. Sember shares that although two homes may be an adjustment, having two homes where negative emotions are not present allows children to grow, without having to go around negativity. Another benefit through separation is the overall calmer emotional baseline. After the separation, the parents have found a new normal and the tension has subsided, allowing everyone to settle down. Having happy parents is one of the main benefits of separating. The parents’ overall happiness allows children to feel safe, feel happy, and learn that separation does not always have to have a negative end to it.

Personally, I think that divorce should be an option whenever all other resources have been exhausted. I think that it is important that as adults and parents, they should try and do whatever they must to fix their marriage before deciding to separate. Also, it is incredibly important for the parents to keep their children informed of the situation at hand so that they are not blindsided by any decision that may happen within the family. Divorce is a route that should be tread carefully because of the repercussions that may occur to the children. Children have the right to know what is happening to their family.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-teenage-mind/201110/divorce-hurts-children-even-grown-ones

https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-kids

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/splitopia/201503/yes-you-can-raise-happy-children-after-divorce

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html

--Original published at Miguel's College Blog

The number of divorces has increased over the past couple of years for a myriad of reasons. It may be generational, religious, or a societal paradigm shift that accepts divorce more easily. Whatever the case may be, divorce changes the dynamic of a family. Children are caught in the crossfire of pre-divorced parents and are left confused when the parents do divorce. Whether or not children are negatively or positively affected by divorce has been a consistent topic of debate.

An article by Dr. Jann Gumbiner of Psychology Today argues that no matter the outcome of the divorce, the divorce destroys a child’s concept of a family and further negatively affects the child. Dr. Gumbiner is a psychologist and a daughter of a divorce so her experience with divorce is not only firsthand, but also researched and studied. Dr. Gumbiner shares that after divorce, children feel a sense of self blame for the failed marriage. Even older or intelligent children are left even with a small sense of guilt that the divorce happened to their family. Along with the confusion, children were more prone to partake in rebellious behavior because of the lack of parental supervision. Dr. Gumbiner responded to how people in the 70’s thought that getting divorced was okay for self growth as being selfish. She wonders why parents would put their children at risk for their own dream of happiness. Children are dependent on adults, while adults are supposed to be the responsible figure that influences their children in a positive way. Dr. Gumbiner also brings up the point that children of divorce suffer long term consequences when it comes to building relationships. Children of divorce are more likely to divorce and go into relationships cautious about trusting others.

Another article that supports the perspective that children are negatively impacted by divorce comes from the Institute of Family Studies. The author, Harry Benson, is a communications director of the Marriage Foundation, a foundation that educates and strives to help people think about their relational choices. Benson shares two main reasons why a divorce can damage a child. The first reason is that after a divorce, the child witnesses a drastic change in economical stability.  Family income is split and may impact the child’s way of life. Resources become limited and this type of stress not only affects the parent, but also the child. To add to this, single parents have to adjust their parenting style and may have to take on both roles of the parent, further confusing the child’s interpretation of parenting roles. The second reason is that children perceive divorce differently from their parents. The parent’s decision to separate is obvious between the two, while the child is kept in the dark up until the separation. This confuses the child as it brings a sense of self blame and affects the child’s perception of relationships when they get older. Benson adds that another aspect of confusion can come when the parents get along after the separation. The child only sees that the parents are cooperating, so why was it necessary to separate?

While the past two articles have shown how divorce negatively impacts children, there is still debate on the positive impacts that divorce can have on not only the child, but also the parents. An article by Wendy Paris of Psychology Today shares a study by Cambridge University professor Michael Lamb that supports positive outcomes of children after divorce. The study showed that children are well off when they can have good relationships with both parents, even if the parents are not living in the same house. Also, children benefit from having parents that are emotionally stable. This allows a safe, stable environment for the child to thrive in. Lastly, the study showed that children benefit with adequate resources like food, housing, and social support, but do not have to be provided by parents that are living under the same roof. Paris shares that after her own divorce, she was able to  balance co-parenting through structured routines, thoughtful communication between parents, and being emotionally present for her children. By having separated parents that can cooperate and support their children, the children are allowed to thrive and create a better understanding of relationships.

Another article by Brette Sember, an author for the Huffington Post, shares how a divorce might be better than staying in a toxic marriage. Sember was a former divorce attorney, mediator, and law guardian so she has interacted with many families going through separation that allows her to share a unique perspective on divorce. Sember talks about how staying married “for this kids” is toxic because the children are exposed to a volatile environment. Arguments, tension, and possibly violence are created under one roof and a child absorbs all of the negative energy, resulting in possible replication of the environment when they are older. By separating, there are benefits that the child are exposed to such as two homes where arguments do not take place. Sember shares that although two homes may be an adjustment, having two homes where negative emotions are not present allows children to grow, without having to go around negativity. Another benefit through separation is the overall calmer emotional baseline. After the separation, the parents have found a new normal and the tension has subsided, allowing everyone to settle down. Having happy parents is one of the main benefits of separating. The parents’ overall happiness allows children to feel safe, feel happy, and learn that separation does not always have to have a negative end to it.

Personally, I think that divorce should be an option whenever all other resources have been exhausted. I think that it is important that as adults and parents, they should try and do whatever they must to fix their marriage before deciding to separate. Also, it is incredibly important for the parents to keep their children informed of the situation at hand so that they are not blindsided by any decision that may happen within the family. Divorce is a route that should be tread carefully because of the repercussions that may occur to the children. Children have the right to know what is happening to their family.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-teenage-mind/201110/divorce-hurts-children-even-grown-ones

https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-kids

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/splitopia/201503/yes-you-can-raise-happy-children-after-divorce

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html

--Original published at Kate's College Blog

Children across the globe grow up in very different households based on parenting styles, household incomes, and geographical locations. Divorce has become more common, which as a result causes children to either live with one parent or flip back and forth between the two. There are many controversies revolving around how divorce affects children, saying that it is harmful for them or there are no serious effects.

The US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health created a journal of children’s reactions to parental separation and divorce. The journal discusses how children face parental separation, anxiety, depression, and deal with custody arrangements due to shared parenting. The first argument made was that children, of all ages, deal with negative effects and have different reactions due to parental separation. Following a parents separation, children may regress and show signs of irritability, anxiety, and distress. In these cases, the child may blame themselves for the separation of their parents, so it is the parents job to reassure it is not the child’s fault and they are loved by both parents. The article highlights many negative effects that a divorce has on a child mentally and physically. Overall, I think that the source is credible because it is a national library of medicine and health and uses resources from studies and other scholarly research.

The Feldstein Family Law Group also has an article regarding the negative impacts of getting a divorce. This article breaks down the short-term and long-term effects it may leave on the child. Like the other article, it discusses that the child may think that it is their fault and feel guilty or responsible for the divorce. This article also states that along with guilt, the child may become increasingly violent or aggressive, lashing out at the parents, family members, teachers, or even friends. They also discuss that the child may create social and cognitive problems along with emotional problems. They may close themselves in and feel depressed or abandoned. They could also have difficulty focusing in school and after school activities that could negatively affect their academic performance. All of these are short-term effects on children, and most effects are short term until the child adjusts to their new life style and it becomes part of who they are. However, there can be long-term effects of getting a divorce. As the child grows up, they may experience behavioral problems, experience separation, suffer from drug or alcohol addictions, and even experience a socio-economic disadvantage from living in a household that only runs on one income. All of these problems are not true for every child and some children may have more extreme effects than others, but overall there are many negative consequences for getting a divorce. This source is credible because it is a known law group that focuses on family law problems. Their facts are reliable and are aimed to help families overcome their difficulties.

On the other hand, there are many researchers that argue that divorce does not have create any serious consequences for the child. Psychology Today has an article  stating that divorce doesn’t harm children, it is the parents fighting that does the damage on the child. They state that regardless of whether the parents are together or not, if they are fighting, the children will suffer. The article states that getting a divorce has no impact on the child, the truth behind what causes negative impacts on the child is if the parents argue often and the child experiences great tension while growing up. In some cases, divorce can actually be a relief to the child because that tension is finally broken. There are many factors that cause tension in households: socio-economic status, cultures, ages of the children, and many more. The child may feel more angry or sad when their parents are fighting all the time, so a divorce would actually be a positive impact on the child. This is a credible source because they have many references and citations to books and research regarding the effects of divorce and have references to doctors research on divorce and how it impacts the child’s health and stability.

The Washington Post also has an article stating that divorce does not always harm the child. They examined three themes that were common in households that dealt with divorce. The first theme was that some children are raised in troubled families that would have caused them greater problems if their parents stayed together. A common mistake that many people have is that they think that all the problems come after the divorce, when in reality the problems were because of the disorganized family unit from before the divorce.  The second theme was that all children are different, even within the same family, in temperament and relations to other family members. Children across the globe deal with stress, anger, and sadness differently and how they let it affect them. Some children find a positive thing, like sports or art, or a person that they cling to in order to insulate them from their trauma of their parents divorce. Finally, the third theme was that the breakup unfolds very differently from family to family. Divorce is a long process that continues for years afterward. How the process is played out, whether that be negatively or positively, will gear how the child is affected in the long run. This post was a credible source because it states statistics from other research and looked at studies to find three common themes that were in most divorce cases.

I think that divorce is different for every family that goes through it. Overall however, I think that parents getting a divorce does not create serious consequences for the child. From personal experience with some of my friends that have gone through divorces, their home life became more positive afterwards. Having their parents fight all the time created a negative energy and they would not want to go home. I think that divorce can help some family situations and as long as the child is brought up correctly with no guilt or blame put on them, there wont be any major negative consequences on them.

Sources:

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2817796/
2. http://www.separation.ca/divorce/effects-on-children
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/200911/divorce-doesnt-harm-children-parents-fighting-harms-child
4. https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/1989/03/19/divorce-doesnt-always-hurt-the-kids/6432e596-b8d3-45f1-a3f7-0a1029a59240/?utm_term=.131cc19a0b5c

--Original published at Emily Garvin's Psych Blog

“As divorce has become more and more common in the US, the number of children affected by divorce has increased greatly. The effects of divorce on children are controversial and there are a number of opinions out there on just what is “best” for kids. If you select this option, I want you to find two credible sources that argue divorce is inherently harmful to children and two credible sources that argue children can come through a divorce without serious consequences. Make sure to assess the arguments and supporting data presented in each source, explain what makes the source credible, and state which side of the issue you think is correct based on your reading. Make sure to list all sources at the end of your post.”

Divorce rates have staggeringly increased throughout the United States. In past decades divorce had been considered socially unacceptable; however, recently, there has become a new level of social acceptance. Some argue that the children involved in these divorces are greatly affected by them while others argue that in the long run children can come through a divorce without serious consequences. In this first spotlight post, I will present 3 peer reviewed journal articles and a book written by a credible family therapist that supports both sides of this argument and conclude with my view on this very controversial issue.

In 2006, the article, “Adolescent’s Adjustment in Four Post-Divorce Family Structures” was published in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. The family structures that were studied included single mother, stepfather, joint physical custody, and single father families. Children growing up with single mothers and stepfather family structures had moderate increase in adjustment issues than non-divorced family structured children. However, the single father structure had high increases in adolescents with antisocial behavior and substance abuse. Joint physical custody structure showed no higher risk of adjustment issues than the nondivorced family structure. This research suggests that as long as both parents are engaged in the growth and development of the children whether married or divorced with joint physical custody, the children are at the same rate of adjustment issues.

A previous 1989 article evaluated 1,197 children across the United States. This article entitled, “How marital dissolution affects children: Variations by age and sex,” found that the younger the children at the time of divorce the more negative the impact on the children. The study included data from teachers, parents, and children and showed that children of divorce displayed problem behavior, psychologic distress, and academic performance issues which were long-term effects of the divorce. These negative impacts of divorce on children particularly those who are younger supports claims that divorce can be harmful to children.

The other side or more positive argument is that divorce can be good for the family including the children. The “good divorce” is one that protects the children. In the article, “Reconsidering the Good Divorce” researchers analyzed three family structures (cooperative parenting, parallel parenting, and single parenting). The cooperative parenting or good divorce scenario showed the least amount of behavior issues with the children, and the children had the closet relationship to the father. The argument is that the parents can be civil towards each other and focus on the well being of the children instead of continuing any conflict between the parents.

The Good Divorce is a book that strongly supports when a marriage falls apart, divorce can be good for the entire family.  Half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. In fact, every 13 seconds a marriage fails. There is hope because families can become binuclear families or families that span two households. This suggests that the children have double the support structure in place to help them grow and develop. As long as parents can minimize conflict and focus on the children, a good divorce is possible.

Overall, divorce has been shown to negatively impact children’s growth and development. This includes problematic behavior outbreaks, academic issues, substance abuse, trust issues, and antisocial tendencies.  Personally, I think that it becomes more difficult for children of divorce to solve conflict within their own lives. I agree that children who grow up in “broken homes” have a difficult time negotiating, communicating, and compromising with others. Additionally, the children that experience divorce at a young age are more susceptible to the negative effects of divorce as they develop. Divorce typically has two different perspectives and often at least one perspective does not consider the divorce to be positive. Divorce should never be taken lightly and should always be a last resort option.

References

Ahrons, C. (2009). The good divorce. Harper Collins.

Allison, P. D., & Furstenberg, F. F. (1989). How marital dissolution affects children: Variations by ageand sex. Developmental Psychology, 25(4), 540-549.

Amato, P. R., Kane, J. B., & James, S. (2011). Reconsidering the “good divorce”. Family relations, 60(5), 511-524.

Breivik, K., & Olweus, D. (2006). Adolescent’s adjustment in four post-divorce family structures: Single mother, stepfather, joint physical custody and single father families. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 44(3-4), 99-124.

--Original published at MelanieBlevins

Divorce has become increasingly common in the past generations,  and if you aren’t a child with split parents it is almost guaranteed that you know someone who’s parents are divorced. The increase in divorce rates raises the question of how healthy or unhealthy it is for the child to be separated from both parents, and what negative developmental outcomes may be at risk when filing for a divorce. In this spotlight post, I will analyze four scholarly articles, two being “for” divorce and two being “against” divorce, in order to come to a logical conclusion states if a divorce is more positive or more negative for children.

By any means, divorce is harmful for a parent and child relationship because it causes a split bond between the family, leaving the child’s world torn to pieces. According to Jayna Solinger from Iowa State University, one of the biggest problems with divorce is the effects of split custody. Due to custody battles, split custody can be granted by the court which allows for one parent to have a greater “entitlement” to the child than the other parent because they’re awarded more time with them. When a child lives with one parent (parent #1) most of the time, they tend to develop a stronger bond with that parent than with the other (parent #2). Although this may be helpful to bring the child and parent #1 closer together, it can be detrimental for their relationship with parent #2. Solinger states, according to the National Survey of Children, that ” close to half of all children with divorced parents had not seen their nonresidential parent in the past year, and only one in six had weekly contact or better.” Parent #1 seems to be favored by the child while parent #2 is almost forgotten during daily life. This can cause negative effects for a child because they may believe parent #2 had abandoned them or does not love them as much as parent #1, although a lot of the time that is not the case. Because the child does not have quality time with both parents, it can be difficult for them to believe their parents really love them or want them. In the long run, this can cause major trust issues for individuals because they’re living in constant fear of abandonment. It may also cause issues with insecurity because they constantly believe they were not good enough for their family.

On the contrary, the effects of divorce are seen to happen in short term. According to Hal Arkowitz, the negative effects of a divorce diminish rapidly after the initial event and do not pose as a threat to further development. A psychological study done in 2002 by E. Mavis Hetherington at the University of Virginia found that many children do experience short term effects,  which causes them to experience anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. However, according to the study “these reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year” and “only a minority of kids suffer longer.” For a little while, divorce can be slightly harmful to a child and cause slight psychological dilemmas. However, the research shows that children can move on from the divorce rather quickly and adjust well to the new situation. This proves divorce does not have any long-term effects and does not pose as a threat to the child’s overall development into adulthood.

The theory stated above can be disproved because it has been seen that divorce may make children very unhappy about their new family situation. According to Carl E. Pickhardt, divorce causes a more aggressive response in an adolescent. At an older age, adolescents are at a higher risk for developmental issues due to their parents divorce, whereas a small child may be less likely and only experience short term grief. An adolescent is independent minded and able to react negatively towards the divorce by performing rebellious actions or becoming extremely angry. An adolescent may become more defiant and distant from the family because they view them as unstable and unable to live a successful life. Acting out towards the parents may be shown as a way to get back at them or prove that they are not in control of what happens in their own individual life. The adolescent may then be impelled to commit more serious acts of offence and/or leave the family get involved in a dangerous environment. The aggression spurred from the divorce may then continue on to other situations where the adolescent will act out aggressively because it is what they know best. The young adult can develop to be short-tempered, violent, or abusive due to the negative event that happened in his/her life.

To take an opposing view, Dr. Shoshana Bennett looks primarily at the positive effects that can come to a child because of a divorce. Bennett claims that “divorce isn’t always negative for kids” and that sometimes it is in fact “excellent for kids.” When a married couple is unhappy, the children of that couple experience many negative effects as well. But, once the couple splits each parent has the opportunity to find their happiness, which in term leads to them becoming a happier parent. Tension in the house can frighten kids and cause anxiety due to the arguments many couples face. Additionally, it is possible that, due to the parents unstable nature, the children encounter nasty arguments with one or both parents as well. A split in households allows for both parents to use whichever parenting styles they find to be the most effective with their children. This leads to a healthier environment for the child, which in the long term will support strong growth and development. Also, it is possible that children can benefit from the divorce by watching how strong each parent can be in a tough situation; this teaches the child that negative situations do have positive endings.

There are compelling arguments from both the positive and negative sides of this situation. The data and information given allows either side to be seen as “correct” based on the way each is explained. The authors of the “positive” argument articles are Hal Arkowitz and Dr. Shoshana Bennett. Hal Arkowitz is a story writer for the Scientific American and a professor of psychology at The University of Arizona and has a PhD in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Hal Arkowitz seems to be a very credible source due to his background in psychology (both as a psychologist and a professor). Dr. Shoshana Bennett is a PhD Clinical Psychologist who is famous for the popular DrShosh.com Radio Show. Additionally, she is a guest lecturer, has preformed field research, and has written many books about hope, prevention, and healing. Dr. Shoshana Bennet also seems to be a very credible source due to her background with the practice and credibility through her talk show and college lectures.

On the flip side, the two authors from the “negative” argument against divorce are Carl E. Pickhardt and Jayna Solinger. Carl Pickhardt, PhD, is a psychologist in a private counseling practice and has published numerous books that focus on child and adolescent psychology. Many of his works relate to divorce and discuss healthy ways for parents to deal with children and adolescent development struggles. Carl Pickhardt is a very credible source due to his background in psychology and the abundance of work he has done with this specific topic. He has worked families through divorce and can provide accurate insight about developmental consequences that can occur. Additionally, Jayna Solinger was a student at Iowa State University that graduated with a major in psychology. However, Jayna is still working toward their PhD and only has experience through college field work and psychology classes. I agree that she is a credible source however she is in fact less credible than the other scholarly authors mentioned above.

Personally, I sway towards the positive divorce side of the argument. Unhappy living situations can lead to domestic violence and abusive relationships among the residents of the household. Although aggression may be caused by the divorce, it is less likely to effect a child’s long term development when compared to years of abuse and unhealthy living styles. If a relationship has failed time and time again and all other means of repairing it are exhausted (e.g. couples counseling), I believe it is best for both the parents and the child if the couple follows through with a divorce. Usually, the court requires for children to attend counseling during and after the process of their parents splitting up. This can be a healthier alternative for the child and gives them another option other than staying with both parents when their relationship is not working out.

Resources:

1.  http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rhetoric/105H16/cova/jlscova.html
2. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/
3. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/18/divorce-and-kids-5-ways-d_n_1519485.html
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents