--Original published at Kealey's PSY105 Blog

Divorce in America has been increasing over the past decades. About 50% of children will experience 18^th birthday, and almost half will witness subsequent divorces in the future (Parker). Research on the effects of divorce on children was popularized in the 1980s and 1990s. The conclusions were mainly one-sided arguments that children of divorce experience more short-term and long-term negative effects than children whose parents remained married. Emotionally, physically, and psychologically divorce was found to have consequences on children, supporting the argument that what’s “best for the kids” is for parents to stay married, even if that means battling with an estranged relationship.

In many religions, divorce is looked down on and a thought of as a disappointment to God. Many religious publications use research done by sociologists such as Paul Amato to support their claims, citing that “divorce leads to ‘disruptions in the parent-child relationship, continuing discord between former spouses, loss of emotional support, economic hardship, and an increase in the number of negative life events,’”. This idea of weakened relationships between parent and child includes instability and a lack of trust. In the long-term, daughters of divorce are thought to become needy and insecure in future relationships while sons of divorce turn out to be overly dominant and less intimate. Further, these children are predicted to be more sexually promiscuous and less successful in romance than children whose parents remained married. It is believed that children of divorce are more likely to experience divorce with their own partners later in life and afflict their children with the negative effects of divorce as well (Fagan and Churchill).

In addition to weakened personal relationships, children of divorce have shown patterns in academic and behavioral conflicts early on. Studies have found that children of divorce skip class more often than children with intact families. Divorce has psychosocial consequences that make children more likely to become antisocial, misbehave, use drugs, and participate in criminal activity as adults (Fagan and Churchill). Children of divorced parents are twice as likely to drop out of high school (Parker). Consequently, they are also less likely to enroll in college than children with married parents (Fagan and Churchill).

Much of the research from 1980s and 1990s arguing against divorce is clearly overexaggerated. This motivated other psychologists and sociologists to present new evidence showing divorce does not have as great an effect on children than previously thought. What they found was that conflict, not the event of divorce, is what has the greatest effect on children. Therefore, if divorce ends or lessens the amount of conflict between parents it is within the best interest of the children to separate. Research shows that children of divorce with depression and other disorders showed symptoms predivorce. While children of divorce are often thought to have more trouble in future relationships, this is not true. It is accurate to say that children’s future relationships are affected by their relationships with their parents and it is possible for children to have secure and happy relationships with them, even if the parents are divorced (O’Connell Corcoran).

A longitudinal study done at Montclair State University supported this claim that conflict creates strife in children’s lives, not divorce. Children who grew up in high conflict families saw fewer negative effects if their parents got a divorce. The study also found a pattern of a short-term crisis period during the adjustment. This supports the idea that children do experience negative consequences during a divorce. However, the one to two year crisis period showed less long-term negative effects than children with parents remaining in high conflict marriages for years. In addition to these findings, the study showed that parents’ happiness did not affect the happiness of the children’s adult relationships. Just because children’s parents were happily married did not necessarily mean the children grew up to have happy partnerships themselves and vice versa (Rettner).

I support the opinion that it is conflict between parents, not divorce, that affects children negatively. Divorce, of course, is a product of unhappiness within a marriage and indicates that conflict has been present between the two partners. However, it is much more beneficial for the child if the parents separate than stay together in a hostile relationship. Children of divorce are likely to experience hardship, especially during the adjustment period of divorce, because the stability that they had known within their home changes. However, children become resilient, and if they still have the support and security that they experienced with their parents predivorce, they should not be negatively afflicted in the long run. Divorce is so prevalent, it is almost impossible not to have relatives or close friends who have been children of divorce themselves. My experience with people that have divorced parents shows no difference in their growth and relationships than people with married parents. The out of date belief that it is better to stick together even though parents are in an unhealthy relationship is simply not true. This idea was based on generations of ideals of what the perfect family should b, according to religious customs and societal pressures. Today, the focus should be on what is best for everyone, because everybody deserves a chance to create happy, healthy relationships.

Fagan, Patrick F., and Aaron Churchill. The Effects of Divorce on Children. Marriage & Religion

Institute, 11 Jan. 2012, http://www.frc.org/EF/EF12A22.pdf.

O’Connell Corcoran, Kathleen. “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce.”

Mediate.com, June 1997, http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm.

Parker, Wayne. “Statistics About Divorce and the Impact It Can Have on Children.” Verywell

Family, Verywellfamily, 5 Apr. 2018, www.verywellfamily.com/children-of-divorce-in-

america-statistics-1270390.

Rettner, Rachael. “Divorce Not Always Bad for Kids.” LiveScience, Purch, 30 June 2010,

http://www.livescience.com/6648-divorce-bad-kids.html.

--Original published at Jenna'sPSY105blog

For my fist spotlight post, I decided to choose the prompt about the effects divorce has on children. The divorce rate in the U.S. continues to increase, and it has become an ongoing debate about whether divorce harms or helps children. I found four articles that do a good job at helping better understand the effects of each side of the argument.

The first article I read is called, “When, and Why, Divorce Hurts Kids,” by Harry Benson. It provided reasons why divorce can negatively impact children. Finances are a huge factor in divorce negatively affecting children. Typically, the total income between the parents is not enough to cover all of the expenses of two separate households as well as providing for sometimes multiple children. When parents go from living comfortably to struggling financially, the instability can be hard on the kids. Also, divorce usually leaves the kids asking many questions or coming to different conclusions. They constantly ask themselves if it was their fault their parents’ marriage failed or why they didn’t try harder to make it work. The children can develop many insecurities from these thoughts. Divorce can also put a negative connotation on relationships for them. They begin to expect relationships and marriages to not work out and that it’s normal. And lastly, a lot of the times parents think it is most beneficial for the wellbeing of their children to not only coparent, but to remain friends after the divorce. But in reality, that can just become confusing for the children if they see their parents getting along just fine, but they still can’t be together. I found this source to be trustworthy because the author, Harry Benson, is the Communications Director of the Marriage Foundation located in the United Kingdom. The site his article was published on is called Institute for Family Studies, whose goal is to do research in order to educate families and strengthen marriages, and in turn prevent children from being scarred by growing up in broken families.

Another article I found discussing how damaging divorce can be for children is called, “How Divorce Affects Children”, written by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D.  One obvious and common reason why divorce is harmful for children is that it can result in the loss of a parent. Far too often do fathers leave the mother and children to fend for themselves and the children don’t see their dad for years, if ever again. Co-parenting isn’t always an assumed method of easing the children into their transition to a much different life. Going along with this, parents tend to run into many conflicts following a divorce. This includes not getting along, financial conflicts, custody, and other legal conflicts. Divorces aren’t always pretty, and that can prolong the transition, making it harder and emotionally draining for the children to deal with. Behavioral and psychological issues tend to increase for children following their parents’ divorce. They develop an inclination to act out, anger problems, become less compliant, develop anxiety, depression, and their performance at school can take a turn for the worst. Also, in some cases, one of the parents becomes depressed themselves after the split, and the children feel compelled to take care of their parent instead of it being the other way around, which can be exhausting for the kids and strip them of their childhood. I found this article to be reliable because Dr. Emery is a clinical psychologist, a divorce mediator, and a Professor of Psychology and Director of the Center for Children, Families, and the Law at the University of Virginia. He has written over 150 scientific publications and several books about parent, marriage, and divorce, has conducted tons of research on these topics, and has lectured all over the world.

But sometimes divorce serves as the light at the tunnel for the children. The next article I found, titled “Is Divorce Always Bad for the Kids?,” written by Salynn Boyles, discusses how divorce can be beneficial to the children. Living in a dysfunctional family where there is constant fighting, arguing, and tension between two unhappy parents can be very stressful and cause high levels of anxiety for the children. The removal of a parent can be a relief. The article says that children living in a stressful environment between two unhappy parents are more likely to act out and become bullies, lie, cheat, and become antisocial, but that, “there was a significant decline in these behaviors following divorce.” This means that in some cases divorce isn’t always necessarily a bad thing. Rather than being harmful for the children they are able to come out better prior to the event and actually can show positive behavioral changes. I found this article to be credible because it was on WebMD. Their staff is made up of certified health professionals, experts, editorial professionals, and contributors with a specialty license to guarantee that people can find the health and medical information, resources and services they need. It is a proven credible source because not only do they seek out and hire highly qualified professionals to provide accurate information for users, but they also maintain upkeep on their staff’s licensures to ensure all of the information on their site is without a doubt up-to-date and accurate.

The last article I read was called “Why Divorce is Better Than a Bad Marriage for Kids,” written by Brette Sember, which discusses the negative impacts divorce has on children. There are many lessons to be learned for the children that can possibly benefit their lives in the future. For example, while they will have to transition to the change of having two homes, each home will be argument free. This will help the children develop some individuality and their happiness won’t have to depend on their parents’ happiness and “allows kids to just be kids.” Kids can also learn from watching their parents going through a divorce how important it is to be able to compromise. By observing their parents co-parenting and working through their issues, it can show them how working together to get through tough times is much more effective than fighting. And lastly, the children can be shown how important it is to put their happiness first. Living to please others and putting others before themselves can prove to be very harmful, so watching their parents choose their happiness first for once will be very beneficial. This post was written on Huffington Post which I feel is a reliable source because it provides non biased information by obtaining news stories and facts from a variety of sources all of which are checked for their credibility to ensure that they are remaining credible as well.

After reading each article, while I think there are some benefits in certain situations, I have come to the conclusion that divorce mainly damages children developmentally, behaviorally, and psychologically. Additionally, it can really negatively effect their views on marriage and lower their expectations of their own relationships one day.

Sources:

https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-

kidshttp://emeryondivorce.com/how_divorce_affects_children.php

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050101/divorce-bad-for-kids#1

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html

--Original published at Loretta Gabrielle

For my first spotlight article I picked option one regarding development with divorced families and children. When I began my research I didn’t believe that divorce impacted a child as it would be better for everyone in the household to be out of a toxic relationship which would just demonstrate an unhealthy relationship to the child. Based off the data findings, I found two sources that argued the harm of divorce and two that disagreed that the children suffer no serious consequences.

“Impact of family structure on the health of children: effects of divorce”

The first two arguments I looked at regarded the danger of divorce and the development of children. The belief of this stems from the idea of maintaining a healthy home setting with stability in comparison to those with divorced parents. The first article supporting this argued that children are better off with parents together and promotes grown in areas of development and learning. With knowing this the article described how as a society should encourage families to stay together. For this article it looked at a study of divorce rates and how they have steadily increased along with co-parenting outside of the same home. The article stated the risks associated with divorcing which had to do with developmental milestones and having an unstable support system. The article continued to discuss the ramifications which can continue into adulthood from the negative impacts and abruptness which was caused during childhood. The child essentially is suffering a loss through each milestone in their life along with the financial strain put on each of the households. This article explained the issues and gave statistics about the increase of divorce rates but it failed in looking at the statistical impact on children in divorced families.

“The temporal effects of divorces and separations on children’s academic achievement and problem behavior”

This study attempted to look at IV models but found limitations as it was difficult to view the pre and post impact of children in families before and after divorce. What I found interesting was the point it made on not being the divorce itself but the issues surrounding the divorce prior to it. The study focused of the disruption of divorce and having a norm of living with both parents to later separating and living with them each inconsistently. The disruption is later to see negative impact of social, physical, academic, behavioral, and mental health issues. This study measured out the impacts of the children which I found more beneficial in understand the scope of the issue in comparison to the last article.

These two articles are regarding that children can come through a divorce without serious consequences opposed to the first two stating the issues around divorce and development.

“Children’s reactions to parental separation and divorce”

The article demonstrates the negative component and stress children face before the divorce occurs. In the research it describes the conflicts between parents, what the child needs, what the parents need, and separation. The research found in this article capitalizes on the issues surrounding divorce prior to it and during the beginning of being newly divorced. This period both the parents and the child are adjusting to this situation until the new living and family dynamic is settled and structured. There are several tools parents are able to use in order to make the transition easier to continue positive development for the child. The majority of divorced children suffer little to no impacts of their parents separating during their developmental stages.

“Enhancing positive outcome for children of divorce”

From this article on psychology today I found that the majority of issues which have been discussed regarding divorce are short-term. Although this is true, in some cases it can have negative long-term impacts. The article described an intervention done called “The New Beginnings Program” and was studied fifteen years after the intervention of parenting skills for divorced families and it had improved stress, anxiety, and childhood development. It was found that 240 families went through this and it helped to improve coping for families who experienced divorce. Providing structure and a supportive parent helps continue development and prevent any long-term impacts.

I think a large part of having to do with the increase of divorce rates is the increase of women’s rights. Women and men aren’t shammed for leaving abusive relationships. It has become less of a public embarrassment and ends a bad relationship by not only showing children what a healthy relationship can be but also recognizing the marriage as failing and being an adult enough to put the child first and co-parent effectively. A large factor of the overall problem is seen before the divorce actually occurs. Suppose the goal was to minimize divorce rates, if you do that you still create the stress which is causing the development problems. Divorcing in an unhealthy relationship benefits the child in development more than the pre-disruption divorce brings for a short time.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4286357/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2817796/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-blame-game/201803/enhancing-positive-outcomes-children-divorce

--Original published at Kirsten's Kreations

For my spotlight post I chose to do option #1, how divorce affects children. Going into the research I believed that divorce affects children in a bad way. However, after doing some reading on the articles I have found, I am beginning to believe divorce may be more beneficial for the children than bad. Out of the four articles I have found, only one gives solid argument how divorce is bad for children, one article discusses how there are bad outcomes for the children but how they don’t last long or turn into the good, while the other two give all benefits the children get after going though divorce.

“The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents”

This article is the best article to give a negative review on the affect of divorce on children. Throughout the article, the author discusses the impact on children at two different stages of life: childhood and adolescence. Children who deal with divorce during childhood and adolescence have very different reactions. When a child has parents who divorce while they are a still going through childhood they can continuously fantasize their parents getting back together which can make their emotions unstable, especially when parents try to do joint family events because that will increase their hope of the family being reunited but the fact they have to travel between parents rocks that hope making them angry. During the childhood stage, children are dependent on their parents but when the parents are divorced their trust in their parents shakes making them have a tendency to lose that dependence. During the adolescence stage the child has a tendency to become more aggressive towards their parents. This makes them become more independent so they don’t have to rely on the parents because they now see their parents as failing to be able to keep commitments to the family. The adolescents are also aggressive towards their parents because they want to get back at their parents for tearing the family apart.

“Divorce Doesn’t Harm Children-Parent’s Fighting Harm Children”

This article is the most interesting of them all. In this article the authors say divorce itself doesn’t affect children. The parent’s attitude surrounding divorce is what affects children.  When parent’s fight, there is a relief in the child when the parents get divorce. The more the parents fight the more the child will get angry and resent them being together but when those parents divorce the child is relieved they don’t have to deal with the fighting. On the other hand, children who have parents that rarely or never fights in front of them can cause them to resent their parents for blindsiding them or for tearing the family apart. The affects the child have from divorce do not stem from divorce itself but rather the way the parents act in front the children leading up to the divorce making divorce not harmful to the children.

These two articles are reliable because they’re from Psychology Today. Psychology Today is a credible source due to it has articles and blogs written by psychologists themselves rather than people without a psychology background. For the second article, they refer back to “The Truth About Children and Divorce”, which was written by Dr. Robert Emery who is also a credible source because he is a psychology professor. The first article based their information from a novel the author, a psychologist from Texas wrote.

“Is Divorce Bad for Children?”

This article is one that gives both good and bad thoughts about how divorce affects children. In this article the author discusses how most of the bad affects people talk about are usually only short-term and is rarely a long-term outcome. A psychologist at the University of Virginia found that children have anxiety, anger, and disbelief as short-term negative affects which typically disappear by the second year. A study in the article showed children from divorced parents show little to no differences than children from intact families. This article shows more how children from divorced parents who fought a lot adjusted better to the divorce than those who’s parents rarely fought in front of them. This article mainly emphasized there are some negative outcomes but are short and the children are mostly affected by how much their parents fought.

This article is credible because it is from the Scientific American which is a website, similar to a newspaper, that is dedicated to having scientific articles weather about actual science or psychological science. This article uses many facts from studies done by other psychologists as evidence in the article.

“Divorce and Kids: 5 ways Divorce Benefits Kids”

This article not only lists five reasons why divorce helps the kids but they also discuss why those reasons help. The reasons are individually different but they all revolve around how the attitude of the parents and the fighting between the parents affects the children. The happier the parents are going through the divorce the better the children are going though it. This article mainly shows how the children are the product of the environment their parents create for them.

This is a credible source because it is written by someone who works for the Huffington Post which is a news paper similar to the New York Times. The article itself is credible because it is written by a doctor who studies the topic of divorce on children.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/200911/divorce-doesnt-harm-children-parents-fighting-harms-child

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/18/divorce-and-kids-5-ways-d_n_1519485.html

--Original published at CatherinesCollegeBlog

The debate about divorce has become more popular in the US ever since the rise of divorce rates. Some believe children of divorce face no real consequences from their circumstances while others argue that divorce seriously harms the children involved.

According to Marripedia, an online encyclopedia of social science, divorce is incredibly harmful to the children of parents who split. Divorce affects all aspects of children’s health, beginning with their physical health. Children with divorced parents are more prone to reckless injuries and are at an increased risk of developing asthma. They are also more likely to engage in harmful tobacco use and alcohol abuse, which puts them at an increased risk for premature death. When the divorce occurs while the children are younger than 21, there is a 44 percent increase of mortality risk. Their psychological stability is also weakened as a result, as these children more commonly experience emotional and behavioral problems, negative feelings, high anxiety, and low self-esteem. Children watching their parents get divorced may regress back to behaviors of young kids they should have grown out of, such as bedwetting. Older children choose to look for intimacy elsewhere when their parents are not providing that support, which often leads to irresponsible sexual activity much too early on in their lives. A recent Finnish study found that sons of divorce especially experienced more conflict with supervisors and teachers, while daughters of divorce had interpersonal troubles later on in life.

An article from Psychology Today titled “Divorce Hurts Children, Even Grown Ones” also supports this side of the debate. Many children of divorce feel they are to blame for the conflict between their parents. This personal guilt is related to a loss of motivation for other aspects of life. Children may stop studying in an effort to rebel against the recent disruption in their family unit. They may become embarrassed about their home life and opt out of inviting friends over, which eliminates a helpful social outlet for children. With only one parent present after the divorce, a child’s ability to attend extracurricular activities will be more limited with the limited availability of the single parent. When one of their parents leaves, the relationships these children have with them are harmed and they are no longer being as carefully disciplined as before. These children also lose the relatives attached to the parent they lose contact with, which can be very upsetting. Some may argue that self actualization is a valid reason for adults to leave marriages, as they will be happier elsewhere. This article states the selfishness of parents who pursue this option because their children will grow up and go into a marriage thinking it is acceptable to eventually leave it. Children of divorce especially have trouble trusting people in the future and developing stable relationships, leading them to be more inclined to divorce as well.

An article from Scientific American titled “Is Divorce Bad for Children?” argues that children can endure divorce without any serious consequences. A 25-year study showed that only about 25 percent of children with divorced parents were still experiencing negative effects in their adult lives from the experience. This article points out that ten percent of children whose parents stayed married still grew up with emotional and behavioral problems. The short term negative effects mentioned earlier, like anger and anxiety, tend to disappear after the first couple of years. It helps when the parents are relatively open about any fighting, conflict, and unhappiness they are feeling in the time leading up to the divorce. The children may actually be relieved for themselves and even their parents that all the fighting and unhappiness is finally over. Children also respond more positively to a divorce when their parents fully answer any questions they may have about what exactly is happening to their family dynamic. Parents should, however, try to minimize the amount of exposure their children face with the divorce process, particularly the legal side that involves attending court dates and such.

Another article from Psychology Today titled “Yes, You Can Raise Happy Children After Divorce” agrees that children eventually recover from the initial shock of divorce. The article found that approximately 80 percent of children eventually move on from the divorce of their parents, supporting the argument that the majority are not facing serious consequences. This majority group of children grow up to be just as happy and successful without the traditional family setting many people once believed was an absolute requirement. Regardless of whether or not their parents get divorced, children do best when they have established solid relationships with each of their parents. Children just need this, as well as emotionally stable parents who are not distracted with relationship conflict, in order to move past the divorce. These ideals can be accomplished without parents actually being married and living together. The marriage is not necessarily what matters most to the well being of a child. Quality relationships and quality time with their parents are the most important, alongside having their basic necessities fulfilled.

I believe with this side of the debate, arguing that children are able to overcome the divorce of their parents. As nice as it may be to have parents who are happily married, I think it is just as good for a child to have two parents who are happily separated. Children are initially more worried about their immediate needs, like attention, support, food, shelter, love, and happiness. Single parents are just as capable of providing these things for their children as married parents are. Even if a child only has one of the two parents providing these things, this may benefit the relationship between that sole parent and his or her child even further. The problems associated with divorce may actually just be a result of how the parents are handling the split with their children, not the actual separation itself. Marripedia is credible as a source for this blog post because encyclopedias are known for providing factual information. Scientific American is credible because the articles reference legitimate scientific research and evidence-based studies. Psychology Today is credible for the same reason, despite the tendency to include certain biases about the topic being discussed. There is still factual information included in the articles regarding the scientific studies they reference, so readers must simply ignore the bias when trying to develop their own opinions and conclusions about the topic.

http://marripedia.org/effects_of_divorce_on_children_s_health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-teenage-mind/201110/divorce-hurts-children-even-grown-ones

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/splitopia/201503/yes-you-can-raise-happy-children-after-divorce