--Original published at Pisacane Perspectives

“The most important question is not whether children from divorced families are having difficulties, but what particular factors cause these differences,” (Hughes). As the vast majority of studies has proven over the past few decades, divorce has effects on the children within the family. These effects, however, vary from child to child which may give off the impression that divorce doesn’t affect them all.

“Current evidence suggests that the loss of parents, economic difficulties, stress, parental adjustment and competence, and interparental conflict all contribute at least to some degree to the difficulties of children,” (Hughes).  With the numerous changes going on in the child’s life, it’s hard to believe that that anyone could be unaffected. Not every child is going to show all the negative effects that divorce has been known to have, which when looking at case studies, may seem to diminish the impact divorce has on children. Over a million couples get divorced in the United States annually, so it only makes sense to view the largest sample possible as each case will be very different. As Fagan and Churchill explain, “there is no way to predict how any particular child will be affected nor to what extent, but it is possible to predict divorce’s societal effects and how this large cohort of children will be affected as a group.”

After decades of studies, there is no doubt that divorce has negative effects on the children of the family. There are numerous reasons for this, and there are numerous ways in which these effects are shown, but as each child reacts and adapts differently, the results have to be looked at generally. One reason for this powerful impact may be because “as of the latest data from the 2009 American Community Survey (shows), only 47 percent reach age 17 in an intact married family,” (Fagan and Churchill). As we know, childhood and adolescence are where the majority of our development as people occur, and the changes which divorce brings on, such as the ones mentioned by Hughes, can alter that development. This may play bigger or smaller roles for each child, but overall, divorce has been proven to have a negative impact.

http://marri.us/wp-content/uploads/publications/research_papers/EF12A22.pdf

https://www.ideals.illinois.edu/bitstream/handle/2142/14469/The%20Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children–1995.pdf?sequence=2

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/200911/divorce-doesnt-harm-children-parents-fighting-harms-child

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/

--Original published at Caleb C's College Blog

Divorce is such a controversial topic, though we see many more divorces than ever. The question sometimes should not be about the parents, but about the children being dragged through such a difficult time at such as young and important part of their life. Through this post I will be examining 4 articles, 2 which defend how divorce is not so bad for children, and 2 which argue that a child can’t come out of a divorce unscarred.

First, let’s examine an article done by Huffington Post, written by Brette Sember, who titles her article, “Why a Good Divorce Is Better Than a Bad Marriage for Kids.” Sember, being a former Divorce Attorney has much experience in the field dealing with divorced parents, thus can shed a lot of insight into how families are impacted. Sember starts off with a strong central message stating, “while there is no question that divorce is hard for kids, it is a far cry better than raising your children in a violent, abusive, angry, or deeply resentful marriage.” She does have a point here, considering that sticking through with a bad and harmful relationship could have an overall negative impact on your children instead of separating and having them live in two peaceful homes. Sember continues to then comment “if you stay married for the sake of your children, you expose them to daily arguments, negative undercurrents, shouting, possible violence, and an atmosphere that is in no way calm and peaceful.” Overall, Sember makes an argument that within the family, if the parents are not at good terms, then forcing a marriage can overall impact a child more negatively than simply divorcing. Also, what I find compelling about Ember’s article is how she addresses the other side of the argument, stating, “while the research is clear that divorce does have an impact on children, it fails to take into account the permanent emotional damage children suffer when they stay in one home with parents who can’t get along.” She continues to say how a divorce frees a family from such a hostile environment.

Secondly, we have another article from Psychology Today, written by Susan Gadoua. She titles her article “Divorce Doesn’t Harm Children – Parents Fighting Harms Child.” So, here we have a second article from another credible source making an argument that divorce itself doesn’t harm the children, what does is the fighting. Right off the bat, Gadoua shows her main message of the article stating, “regardless of whether parents stay together or split, if there is fighting going on between them, the children will suffer.” This is a similar argument made by Sember in the previous article, focusing more on the psychological aspect of fighting and a bad marriage, than the divorce itself and how it impacts the children that way. Gadoua also comments on the other side of the argument who say that divorce is bad for children, by commenting and discrediting a book titled “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce,” written by Judith Wallerstein, which the main premise of the book is that divorce overall hurts children. Gadoua comments how “any longitudinal study on families like this can’t possibly yield accurate results because you have no way to compare these families to the alternative.” Gadoua is saying here how after studying a family long term, and how the divorce impacts the family, you can’t compare this to the same family if they did not get in a divorce. The closest you can come to comparing divorce factors is by comparing a divorced family and one that stays in tact. She then goes on and says how every family is unique and has their own factors such as, cultural differences, age of children, economic status, degree of tension, and so forth. So overall, you cannot generalize how a divorce can be always bad for the children when there are many unique aspects at play. This is then commented by Gadoua stating, “every situation is truly unique and a myriad of factors need to be weighed such as timing, age of your children, safety for you and your children, financial ability to split up as well as other resources on hand.” She sums up the article by saying how staying with your children can seem like the right thing to do, though that isn’t in every case and when you and your family is in a more happy situation, so will your children be.

Now, coming from the other side, an article written by Harry Benson for Institute for Family Studies, titles his article “When, and Why, Divorce hurts Kids.” He starts off the article by referencing a recent study done stating the study “came out earlier this month concluding that whether parents cooperate or not makes little difference to how children cope with divorce.” This is opposite to the other two articles I analyzed, because both Gadoua and Sember argued that divorcing from a bad environment helps the children, though this study says that doesn’t matter for the children because they still have to cope with the divorce itself. Benson does give the other side some credit though by saying how sometimes there is no other option but divorce considering how toxic the environment is at home. Benson does go on to say though how “in many other cases, however, divorce does damage children, especially where the parents had relatively low levels of conflict. According to one U.S. study, that description applies to about half of divorcing couples.” Benson goes on then to talk about two main reasons why the break up hurts children. First, after a divorce, there is usually fewer resources to pay for life related things, thus the family sometimes has to receive government aid, and also how one parent ends up becoming displaced, typically the father who then “needs to make an extra effort to remain in regular contact with his children.” This doesn’t always happen, and reduced father day-to-day contact typically has a negative impact on children. The second point Benson makes is how the children view the divorce different than the parents. Benson refers to certain questions which go through kid’s minds, such as “what on earth happened? Was it me? Or is that how relationships are? They just go pop for no apparent reason?” This type of thinking can then end up hurting the child’s perceived thought of relationships and impact their relationship life negatively as adults.

Finally, an article written by Tricia Goyer, for Family Life, titles her article “It Hurts to be a Child of Divorce.” She begins the article by talking about personal experiences with divorce as a child as well as her own experience, being 18, when her parents divorced. Overall, as a child, she thought that divorce “didn’t seem right. More than that, it seemed wrong.” Going further into her experience as a child, Goyer thought how weird it was to go to two Christmas Gathering, and two Thanksgivings. To her it seemed unnatural and things never seemed “right” after the divorce. She also comments on the psychological impact the strenuous relationship of her parents had on herself. She references how there will always be a sort of guilt in her mind associated with her parents, always thinking that it was her fault somehow and “if I’d been a better kid it would have been easier for my parents to work it out.” She then sums up the article stating “the best thing you can do for yourself and for your children is to give your marriage a second chance. Don’t think that walking away from your commitment will come without consequences. Don’t think you’re not going to break your children’s hearts.”

For the 4 sources, I believe they were all credible, though some had more of a convincing stance than others. For example, in my opinion, the two best sources came from the Huffington Post article, and the Institute for Family Studies article, both which are very credible sources, defending opposite stances. These are both very credible because they come from well known sources, and one references many studies done on divorce, while the other was a past divorce attorney, thus automatically has some credibility when talking about how divorce impacts families. I believe that based on my research that there are some cases where divorce is necessary for the well-being of both the parents and the children, though I believe that is only the case in extremely toxic situations where the divorce ends up only positively impacting the children. Though, overall, as noted in Benson’s article, half of divorcing parents have relatively low levels of stress, thus the children in those families end up confused and question themselves as to why the divorce occurred because it wasn’t too obvious. So, my consensus would be that in most cases, the children end up being negatively impacted, and I believe that in all cases, every child is scared somehow by the split.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/200911/divorce-doesnt-harm-children-parents-fighting-harms-child

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/brette-sember/why-a-good-divorce-is-better-than-a-bad-marriage-for-kids_b_6925236.html

https://ifstudies.org/blog/when-and-why-divorce-hurts-kids/

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/life-issues/challenges/children-of-divorce/it-hurts-to-be-a-child-of-divorce

--Original published at Sarah's Blog

Spotlight Blog #1

Divorce is becoming more and more common in more recent times. Although being looked down upon in the past, the rate of divorces has risen dramatically. This in turn can affect children in these relationships. The controversy with parents getting a divorce is that many people believe that getting a divorce can negatively affect a child’s emotional well-being and can cause behavioral issues, but others believe a divorce can be positive for a child to relieve tension and arguments from the household.

An article from Huffington post describes how a divorce can positively benefit a child contrary to popular belief. The author, Dr. Shoshana Bennett, explains the different ways that children can prosper from a divorce. She states that when the parents are happy, the child in turn will be happy, no matter if the parents live in the same house. The tension that will disappear with a divorce will also help the child to be more relaxed. Getting a divorce lets the parents be their own person and be the best parent that they can be for their child.

Another article from PsychologyToday also talks about the benefits of a divorce and how children can still be happy even after their parents separate. The author states that “80 percent of children of divorce adapt well and see no lasting negative,” and that the child will be better off when the parents are getting along and the child can have a good relationship with both caregivers. They also discuss that the necessary resources that a child needs can be provided even if the parents do not live in the same home.

The opposite belief is that divorce can hurt the health and well-being of children. Jane Anderson wrote a journal titled “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce” in which she talks about the negative effects of divorce in children. The child would lose time with each parent in the midst of joint custody. Also, the child can develop trust issues which would cause the child to not have a close relationship with one or both parents. Children can be traumatized easily and they are at higher risk of emotional stress.

Another article that talks about the negative effects of divorce is “The Psychology of Divorce: A Lawyer’s Primer, Part 2: The Effects of Divorce on Children” written by Dr. Sandford M. Portnoy. Some facts he stated in the article were “The divorce rate in the United States hovers around 50 percent. One-half to two-thirds of those who divorce remarry.” Children of divorce are more prone to depression and anxiety after going through that loss. It was also found that children of divorce are more likely to engage in more delinquent behavior than those whose parents are still together.

In my opinion, I do believe that marriage is always a great thing to have in a family, but sometimes it is in the best interest of the child to get a divorce to remove the stress and tension in the household. If the two parents are civil and are able to determine a plan that works for both of them to be able to be kind and be the best parents that they can be for their children, that would be the best way that the children can flourish and work past the stressful times. This will also help the relationships between the children and both parents stay intact.

Resources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/18/divorce-and-kids-5-ways-d_n_1519485.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/splitopia/201503/yes-you-can-raise-happy-children-after-divorce

Anderson, Jane. “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce.” The Linacre Quarterly 81.4 (2014): 378–387. PMC. Web. 23 Feb. 2018.

Portnoy, Sandford M. “The Psychology of Divorce: A Lawyer’s Primer, Part 2: The Effects of Divorce on Children.” American Journal of Family Law, vol. 21, no. 4, Winter2008, pp. 126-134. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=27773717&site=ehost-live.

--Original published at MaddiesCollegeBlog

As stated in the prompt, divorce is a catastrophic event that can happen in someone’s life, and especially in younger children. It is a major decision that definitely should be discussed and planned between the two adults before coming to this decision, as its aftermath could lead to multiple possibilities and it all depends on the two involved. Many researchers have been debating about whether or not this has a heavy psychological effect on children who suffer from this decision will either struggle growing up (with behavior, emotional, developmental issues) or will they end up being relatively exceptional moving forward.

I would first like to start off with the negative aspect of this argument

In the first article I found that it really discusses the negative emotional toll it takes on a child when going through divorce. The author, Jayna Solinger, made a very strong statement that describes divorce perfectly. She said,” Divorce, in any circumstance, rips a child apart, tossing him/her from one house to another, limiting time spent with his/her parents, and confusing him/her.” This description really gives the reader the perspective of what challenges a child is faced with while going through divorce. Then Solinger brings up what she thinks is the biggest problem that occurs during the divorce time period, which is whom the child is going to reside with. She further discusses in detail the effects of the custody battle and why both options (joint & split) are harmful to a child. Nearing the end of the article, she then introduces a statement that was said by a psychologist at the University of Michigan and a divorce expert. The paragraph discusses what his beliefs of divorce are and how they affect children as well. Solinger also added a refutation paragraph stating that not every divorce ends in an ugly matter and “isn’t always a terrible thing.” Following that, she then ends the article with a very heavy paragraph that generalizes her thoughts on the topic. “It generally proves to be more beneficial for a child if his/her parents stay in an imperfect marriage rather than getting a divorce. The various activities that are involved with a divorce severely damage a child.” I would say this is a credible source because it has many reliable resources that she used to construct her article, and it was also published by the Iowa State University.

In the second article I found, It strictly addresses the aftermath effects to children that happen with divorce. The author, Kristen Moutria, states 4 major problems: Difficulty coping, Trouble with Schoolwork, Dealing with Changes and Perceived Loss of a Parent. She separates those topics into four sub-paragraphs and discusses research or statement made by credible people about those topics, and then she briefly discusses why what they said or the research that was done about divorce and how those 4 subjects show how it is detrimental to a child. I feel that this is a credible source because all her statistics, or facts that she used were said or analyzed by reputable institutions and/or people.

In the third article, It is more of an academic journal that was based on research conducted and written by an undergrad at the University of Central Florida. Mainly the research journal discusses how most people have the belief that divorce is a horrid event that psychologically discombobulates children for the rest of their lives. but now, it was time to see if there truly are any positive outcomes. The author, Grant Mohi, discusses how he conducted an experiment to test this theory. Mohi used a multi-method research design, and surveyed data from 233 college students from divorced and intact families. He then randomly selected 10 of those who responded saying that they were from a divorced family, and had a face to face interview with them. His results ended up showing that “many young adults do experience positive outcomes after the divorce and that these outcomes are dependent on a variety of familial and social factors that shape the divorce experience.” It all depends on how an individual specifically reacts. I would definitely classify this article as a credible source because it was published by a reputable institution, has very factual evidence and statistics and seemed professional.

For the final article, I found an article that somewhat relates to the second article structural wise. In this article, the writer discusses the benefits of divorce to children and breaks those ideas into 4 sub paragraphs (communication skills, organization skills, time management skills and relationship building skills) about the skills that they possess because of a divorce situation. He goes into depth about how the skills benefit children, and some kids who don’t go through a divorce situation made lack in these skills. At the end of the article, there was a chilling statistic,”An estimated 40 million American families are living apart these days.” This statistic made me truly realize how common divorce is in society today. I would say this is a credible source because there were multiple statistics and factual-based evidence that supported the claims of the article. Though it is a .com website, it still seemed to be pretty credible

After reading all four articles, I would say that I still feel that divorce affects children in a negative way. Although, the positive side presented arguments that were some-what convincing, I have just seen multiple cases where it has destroyed families and individual people emotionally and physically. From personal experience, I have watched some of my closest friends go through divorce from all ages, from elementary to high school and almost all of them reacted in a negative way. They changed as a person and become someone who they or i never thought they would become, it was truly sad to experience.

References

1. http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rhetoric/105H16/cova/jlscova.html
2. https://oureverydaylife.com/negative-impact-divorce-can-leave-children-12597.html
3. https://urj.ucf.edu/docs/mohi.pdf
4. http://www.totaldivorce.com/after-divorce/parenting/divorce-benefits-for-children.aspx

--Original published at Site Title

For the first spotlight post of the semester, I chose to look into the first option; the topic of divorce and the effects it does, or does not leave on children. Divorce is a very controversial subject in today’s society, especially with the divorce rate continually inclining. There are many different opinions as to how divorce can leave an effect children, and I have found four different articles that share some of these opinions.

The first article I found is titled The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents by Carl E. Pickhardt Ph.D. Pickhardt firmly believes that divorce does leave negative effects on children. Pickhardt claims that when parents get divorced, their child’s, or children’s, trust in dependency upon their parents is effected. This is because there will now always be one parent absent, and they will have to learn to live between two different environments. This creates unfamiliarity, instability, and insecurity for the children. Due to these drastic changes, the child is also left with a great amount of anxiety. Children are often left wondering what might happen next, who will take care of them, and if it is possible for their parents the lose love for them just like they did for each other. Not only does Pickhardt have a Ph.D., but he is also a practicing psychologist and author which is why I am confident that his findings are credible.

Similarly to Pickhardt, Jane Anderson, author of the article The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effect of Divorce, feels that divorce does indeed leave negative effects on children. Anderson says that almost three decades of research has concluded that children who are living with both of their married, biological parents have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being compared to children who come from split families. In addition to this, a valid point that Anderson makes is that children may have to deal with a sense of economic insecurity after their parents divorce. Custodial parents on average lose anywhere from 25% to 50% of the pre-divorce income. This means that children have to cut back on many things without understanding why. All they are aware of is that they are no longer receiving as much as they used to which may cause anxiety for many young children. Jane Anderson is an author who is employed through the University of California. All of her information is properly cited, and she included research from a Harvard study. For these reasons I find her article to be trustworthy and credible.

While Pickhardt and Anderson do hold a strong case, there are still many who disagree that divorce leaves harmful effects on children. Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W. wrote an article to say that divorce does not harm children. In her article Divorce Doesn’t Harm Children – Parents Fighting Harms Children, Gadoua says that there is no real evidence that can support the opinion that divorce leave negative effects on children. This is because you cannot compare individual families who are getting divorced while they are also not getting divorced. You can however compare a family who is going through a divorce to a family who is not going through a divorce, but the results will essentially mean nothing because different people react to situations differently. She says that every family is unique, and there are many factors that need to be considered such as the timing of the divorce, the age of the children, the safety of everyone involved, and the financial status of the family. Susan Pease Gadoua is a licensed social worker, and she uses research from credible sources which is why I have found her research to be credible.

Similarly to Gadoua, Randy Dotinga, the author of Parents’ Fighting Has Long-Term Impact on Kids, feels that it is not the divorce itself that leaves negative effects on children, but the fighting that is often paired with a divorce does. Dotinga has collected research that states that children can sense when their parents are angry with one another, and it causes them to lose on average 30 minutes of sleep every night, which comes along with other effects such as irritability, behavioral problems, physical health issues, lower academic performance, and so on. Dotinga says that many parents do not divorce each other because they believe it is what is best for their children, despite the way they feel towards each other. He explains that this however may actually be worse for the children because they are now constantly living in an environment of hostility. Dotinga says that is often actually serves as a relief when their constantly bickering parents finally split. Dotinga collected much of his research from sources including the University of Notre Dame, Auburn University, the University of Rochester, and Brown University. For these reasons, I believe that his work is credible.

Based upon the information that I have gathered from reading these four articles, I personally believe that divorce does have negative effects on most children. Although both sides of the argument do make valid points, and it is true in some cases that a divorce may be better for a child, I believe that the uncertainty a child faces when their parents get divorced is very negatively impactful. This is especially true in the cases of younger children who cannot yet fully understand what is happening, why it is happening, and how to cope with the dramatic changes within their lives.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/200911/divorce-doesnt-harm-children-parents-fighting-harms-child

http://news.healingwell.com/index.php?p=news1&id=530961